blog alpha lion painting

25 Characteristics of an Alpha Male

Characteristics of a Real Man

The Alpha Male, the real man, a man’s man, a warrior, a stand-up guy. It doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s a leader, the guy others look to for motivation, inspiration, and often with a hint of jealousy. He’s the man women want, without inention the center of attention.

He’s the guy, the man.

Here’s 25 characteristics that make a man the alpha. Leave your additions (or subtractions) in the comments section.

1. The alpha male is persistent. There’s no quit in this man. He’s the tortose not the hare. He’s the last man standing.

2. The alpha male can defend himself and his family. He can handle himself with his fists, to put it another way.

3. The alpha male is in peak physical shape. He’s strong and athletic as well as aesthetically pleasing to the opposite sex.

If you need help in this area, check out this video —> build lean muscle

4. The alpha male is courageous. He doesn’t lack fear, rather, he accepts that it exists and faces it at every opportunity.

5. The alpha male can entertain. He has a sense of humor and can have a group of people hanging on his every word – he’s a good story teller.

6. The alpha male has stories to tell. He’s lived – and is living – a unique life. He’s made mistakes, but he’s able to find humor in them. He’s had adventures that everyone wants to hear about.

7. The alpha male can laugh at himself. This is an over-looked characteristic of an alpha male, but a ne

cessary one. You can’t make fun of the alpha male because he’ll join in, no one can make fun of him better than he can.

8. The alpha male is humble. Some of this comes from his ability to laugh at himself. No matter what he accomplishes, his head will never balloon, and if it does, he has the ware-with-all to come back down to earth before it gets out of hand.

9. The alpha male is learned, educated. A degree isn’t a prerequisite, but a thirst for knowledge is. He wants to learn, and he does. This helps him relate to people from every social and economic standing. He can converse intelligently with the business man and the preacher. The history buff and the sports nut.

10. The alpha male is a man’s man. He’s a hard guy not to like or want to have a beer with. He’s tough, often quiet, composed, but can joke and shoot the shit with anyone.

11. The alpha male knows the value of every word, he doesn’t talk simply to hear the sound of his own voice. His words are chosen carefully. He respects their power. Whether he’s writing or speaking, he doesn’t speak to be hear, he speaks when he has something of value to say. He’s never the loudest one in the room.

12. The alpha male has a purpose. This may be his most defining trait. Where many wander through life trying to find their Self, the alpha male is too busy creating his Self. Every day he does something to bring himself closer to his goal. He isn’t a wanderer, he’s going places; it’s so obvious that everyone around him can see it.

13. The alpha male is a hard worker. He knows that nothing great is accomplished without hard work and a definite purpose.

14. The alpha male is a warrior not a worrier. He understands that cetain things aren’t under his control. He does everything he can to control what hecan, but doesn’t worry about what he can’t. He’s not worried about tomorrow, he’s too busy working for today.

15. The alpha male doesn’t pick a fight, but he ends it if he’s in one. He isn’t a bully. He isn’t an emotional wreck that looks for a fight at every corner. But, if the logical thing to do is to fight because the situation calls for it, he will. He’ll also never hit a man when he’s down. He isn’t fighting to destroy, but to defend.

16. The alpha male has style. He takes pride in how he looks and people respect him for that. He also knows how to dress like a man. You’d never call the alpha male a metrosexual.

17. The alpha male knows who he is, his values govern his life. He doesn’t stray from these values, in fact he stands up for them. Even when he stands alone in what he believes is right, he digs his heels in and fights.

18. The alpha male knows how to treat a lady. He respects women, often because he’s had some great one’s in his life. He’s chivalrous.
He helps his lady at every chance. He helps her reach her dreams, all-the-while moving closer to attaining his own.

19. The alpha male isn’t a sucker. He isn’t a clinger. He doesn’t go out of his way to please everyone because that’s a futile endeavor. He won’t let a woman run his life. He’s his own man. Though he worships the ground his lady walks on, he knows how to pick ‘em. He won’t be with a control-freak or a jealous woman. He has the social intelligence to see that storm before it peeks it’s nasty little head.

20. The alpha male is a man of value. “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” Einstein knew that success is reached if you’re valuable to others. The alpha male is a man of value and values. He makes the lives of others better by being a part of them.

21. The alpha male helps others, he’s generous. He has his purpose, but he knows that life isn’t merely about accomplishments, but about leaving a legacy. That legacy is how he made others feel, and how he helps others accomplish their dreams.

22. The alpha male is a leader who leads by example. He doesn’t tell people how to live, but lives in the manner he sees as best to live.

23. Alpha males throughout history, Achilles, William Wallace, and Napoleon, saw opportunity where others saw failure. The alpha male will fail, but he won’t see failure as the end. He’s sees it as a necessary part of the experience, a stepping-stone. Knowing this allows him to try things others won’t, and to work harder when others usually quit.

24. The alpha male is stubborn. When he starts something he’s passionate about, no one can stop him or pull back on the reigns. He’s in it until the end. He’s also open-minded and willing to listen to other points of view. He knows he’s flawed and stubborn, so he gives way and learns from people who are better than him.

25. The alpha male doesn’t try to be an alpha male. That’s where so many fail. He is interested in life, in living. He’s fascinated by the world around him, in becoming the best man he can possibly become. He genuinely cares about people. He passionately works hard. He’s excited by life, by the opportunity that each day presents. He’s genuine in every facet of who he is. Each of the characteristics are possessed by him naturally, or will be as he grows as a man. Bred from curiosity, a genuine kindness, and a warrior’s heart, he is who he is, and all others follow him wherever he will lead them.

email
Join the Tribe! Sign up to Our Newsletter.
Get FREE Updates And a TON Of Great Info NOT Found On The Site.
  • ralf

    Nice Article!

    Chad . how to get out of a relationship like a man .How to do it with grace and treat the lady well also. Like if you are in a relationship for a while and find out that you two can’t make it as a couple… or whatever reason..

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      I agree, some guys go about it all wrong, even staying in that relationship for too long to avoid hurt feelings. Man up, but do it with compassion.

  • Dawson D

    My biggest barometer of an alpha male is how a man handles himself with a pack of dogs (or any animal with that pack mentality). With some dogs you need to be stern, while others need compassion and encouragement. All animals can sense weakness…its in their nature.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Ya good point, never really thought of it like that – thanks bro.

  • Travis

    #14 is valid, until he becomes a father. Then he has earned the right to worry.

    #24 ( His mind is open, just not so open that his brain falls out. )

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Good point Travis.

  • Scott Howse

    i would added that he loves his family as much as he hates someone trying to hurt them

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      well said mr. Howse.

    • valentina408

      Here here

  • chester

    There are many ways in which I’m in the Alpha category. I’m wondering how you deal with an employee who’s also a very athletic Alpha. He attempts to dominate things and take control and doesn’t back down when he should and it’s led to disputes with others and me. Frankly, I’m thinking of letting him go as is has cause problems and I think it may get worse. I like the kid, but it’s not worth it. Thoughts….

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      I’d be very blunt with the guy. Tell him what’s up, how his behavior’s interfering with the office etc… If he’s mature enough he’ll hear you without emotion, if he isn’t, he’ll get angry – in which case it’s not “alpha” behavior but compensating for his insecurities. Some guys “take over” situations not because they’re strong, but they need to be loud and heard because of weakness.

      • valentina408

        Chad you are very wise

      • Christian Santiago

        The only problem with being blunt is that you might alienate the person. After all, this is a workplace context. Before this occurs, probe for strengths and weaknesses. Being an Alpha means knowing that confrontations don’t always work; that indeed, you too could be on the receiving end of a stick or led pipe to the head from a disgruntled person waiting in the parking lot with his Beta pimp hand. A dead Alpha or Beta is still a dead person.

    • Christian Santiago

      You’re not strong enough to deal with him. You’re not a true Alpha. My advice is to get to know him better, learn his strengths and weaknesses and then use a sliding scale of leverage accordingly. Flexibility, not rigidity, is key. If you do fire him, then you’re just a Beta trying to be Alpha.

  • http://realmanwayoflife.com.br/ Real Man Way of Life.com.br

    Excelent post!

  • http://twitter.com/brawnybody Brawny Body

    Hey Chad,

    Sweet read man. I really liked 10 and 12 but all of them were good.

    Keep rocking man!
    Eric Silva

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks Eric!

  • http://realmanwayoflife.com.br/ Real Man Way of Life.com.br

    I would also add:

    26 – The alpha male is absolutely honest and maintain it’s own integrity in every situation.

    27 – He is also tolerant and has enough social skills to deal with differences.

    28 – He has initiative and start doing when people are still waiting and wondering.

    29 – He knows the value of collaboration on complex issues.

    30 – He never seeks approval. Instead, he is the one who give value to people.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      I like it, great additions. Let’s keep these going.

  • grandma

    An alpha male polices his own stuff, he doesn’t expect someone else to clean up after him. He pays his own way & doesn’t expect freebies to save his own wallet.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Well said.

  • Blondy

    A real man knows that everything in life is just one simple choice, and that our choices make us who we are.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Well said.

  • Herausforderer

    Ok, I usually don’t leave comments on blogs, but I gotta tell you, this ish is inspiring! I’m a daily reader now. Thanks man!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      That’s awesome to hear man. Happy to have you on board!

  • milania

    “25. The alpha male doesn’t try to be an alpha male. That’s where so many fail. ” <– This is so true. I am a girl, and my idea of Alpha male is: males don't care whether they are alpha/beta, they simply focus on their works that all he received is respect. He doesn't check every minutes on others' reactions to see if they are alpha male YET. IMO, when a man has a family to support, he will automatically be appointed to be the head of the household, there is no choice for him NOT to be a alpha male.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Milania, it’s great to hear a woman chime in on this! Thanks for the comment, and I agree completely, that’s a huge point of being an “alpha male”.

    • valentina408

      You hit the nail on the head sister.

    • name here

      too true, if you are an alpha male odds are you just are! (no need to puff up, cuz yer already there) one doesnt try to mimic themselves. unfortunately i know some guys who have family and still have no idea what to do with them selves

    • Unknown

      O I care I better be the only male, seated at right hand I seek dominance male dominance there’s a female code I will forever more defy this when I do I will stand down and give the woman her resperect and she then will be seated at the right hand of her king a wise alpha never seeks war but always must be prepared for it I am very high tech something no one on earth has seen

  • valentina408

    I saw an interview with a poor family. So that the children and wife could eat, this man ate only ONE MEAL PER DAY. That’s an alpha male.

    • chris

      Sadly, that’s the complete definition of a beta male. An alpha male would either not have a family to begin with (just have sex and babies with lots of women), or he would be successful enough to feed both his family and himself properly.
      Although, this man was definitely a good noble person. He wasn’t quite an alpha male. At least, not from the info you gave us

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        “Have sex and babies with lot’s of women”…

        That ain’t an alpha male man. That’s a man with no honor, no responsibility, no class. We’re talking real shit here, not a guy who’s so insecure that he needs to bed women to pump up his ego. Read other articles on the site (click the alpha male tab) to see what kind of TRUE alpha we’re talking about.

  • valentina408

    Also alpha male is dedi ated to his faith, whichever he has chosen.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Well said.

  • MagicJack

    An alpha male knows how to talk to women and makes them feel loved, respected and secure.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Agreed.

    • Jeff Cordero

      That sounds like some movie bull shit no one knows how to talk to EVERY woman they are all different you just want to convince yourself you are some suave Alfa. I bet you weak skinny jeans.

  • Cristian

    Jesus Christ was THE ALPHA MALE of all times. We should all take a closer look to the way he had lived his life. An Alpha Male wants to be like HIM.

    Take care. God bless….

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Agreed.

      • Jew

        jesus christ probably never existed…

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        He existed. The historical evidence is far too strong to debate that fact. What you can debate is whether you think He’s the son of God or not. Not having that debate here. But feel free to have it on your own time.

        Here’s a good video about the facts of His life/death: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPNraxxxRO8

      • John

        You are right Mister Howse of course Jesus existed.
        If anyone read the relevant article in Wikipedia they will see that he did existed as a person, but only his miracle are questioned.

      • Harold

        there is no proof…it was put there 400 after by Constantine

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        False. Think about historical proof, much of what we know comes from previous historians. There are 12 ROMAN historians – not Jewish – that talk about Jesus’ crucifixion in the present tense, along with countless others of the Jewish faith.

        That’s how history is recorded. There are documents that date to his actual time of living, where most historical documents are written years after a man’s death and come from word of mouth passed on through generations. Take Homer, for example, the only original copy of his Iliad comes 800 some odd years after his death.

      • Brandon Miller

        Wasn’t going to keep reading your blogs at first because you seem to preach morality yet steer clear of religion which props it up. Also, you set near perfect and unreachable standards.. However, if you are at least open minded towards the truest purest and original form of an alpha male in the God-Man Christ Jesus as the ultimate example for one to follow, than those ideals become possible… and I respect you for having some reverence for God. I will keep an eye on this site and pray about being a “better man” as you say.

        Psalm 111:1 “Reverence for the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
        A good understanding have all those who do His commandments; His praise endures forever.”

        Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
        And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

      • jeanjacques

        an alpha male, whether Jesus was one or not, would never debate religion – because so many suffered and eventually died in the name of…grain from chaff is obvious here. ideology of any kind has to be respected but never debated – like any other idea it just doesn’t exist in reality as such, so if you want to you can have control over it and over yourself by keeping your mouth shut. >>alpha in the making<< has spoken softly but firmly in order for some to learn if they would allow it…

      • Brandon Miller

        I don’t see agnosticism as a true “alpha” strength. Respect for culture can be reasonable, but without personal convictions to guide that respect; the respect given is hollow (having a “form of godliness” but denying it’s power… “always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (refer to 2 Timothy 3).

        I think I understand what you are saying here (Jean), but in this case I wasn’t actually debating anyone. You saw the word “religion” and assumed I wanted to debate. This was my first comment and simply a response to someone else bringing up The Lord Jesus. So, I didn’t come here to debate. I was merely curious of the “alpha male” philosophy. However, it seems that we may agree on verses like this… Proverbs 17:28 “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.” If quoting Scripture and mentioning the word “religion” is going to cause negative backlash with those who pontificate about being “strong” and “successful” instead of humble and spiritual, than I may (perhaps) chose to keep my comments to a minimum and do more observing than engaging people on this site.

        2 Timothy 3:1 “But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these. 6 For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Jesus didn’t come to start a new religion, therefor discussing him isn’t about religion, we haven’t covered faith, merely history and whether he existed or not, and he clearly lived, this isn’t a debatable fact, thus, not debating religion.

    • Damon

      The problem was that the letter ” j “wasn’t created until the 16 hundreds,so before then what was your so called Jesus name all those years prior to the invention of the letter j? That’s the problem,Christians don’t no that mans real name.

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Yeshua is his given name. Jesus is the translated version. All in all it’s semantics. It doesn’t matter if you call him Jesus or Yeshua. He lived. There’s actually more evidence that he lived than there is that Plato or Aristotle ever lived – and that list could be expanded. Watch that video I posted above. It’s interesting. Not trying to push anything on anyone, we’re talking history here.

      • Sunki

        Now, that I have seen you comments in what you have responded to other people and their views, I can respect your words and views better. What you have said wasn’t filled with words of just air, but your words actually have meaning behind them. I read your article. I was an enjoyable read. I have read your comments on Jesus, and it actually allowed me to really enjoy your article even more. You truly do understand the personification of what an alpha male is. You choose not to argue nor discredit anyone’s belief, but choose to provide proof for them to digest. Thank you.
        -Laura

      • Davoutoglouglou

        jesus in ancient world called Ιησούς in ancient Hellenic,there were other languages those days amigo

    • turbine

      nope. probably was Aristotle, although the institutions and powers that be would have you on this false path of a useless jesus.

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Not sure what you’re trying to say here man. You’re entitled to your own opinion, but to say that Jesus is “useless” is pretty ignorant and arrogant. He’s the most significant figure in history – whether you think He’s the savior or not. To say He’s useless must mean you also think every other figure in history is useless as well?

  • Rosie

    Chad, I have a questions for you….
    First of all when I googled ‘traits of alpha males’, I never thought I’d hit the jackpot in scoring this article by you. I’m with ‘one’ so called alpha male. I’ve never been with one before in my entire life so it’s hard for me to figure him out. He fits every one of the 25 characteristic you pointed out. He is 58 years and I’m 37!
    Tell me how to deal with an issue such as the following with an ‘alpha male’…

    I’m not allowed to touch his phone, not even to look at my own pictures. He has to hold the phone for me……he says I’m crossing the boundaries of his personal space!! I would never have gone through his phone, so I don’t understand why the big deal, when I tried to look at my own pics…

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Maybe he’s had a lady rummage through his stuff before. If you don’t feel it’s a big deal, then give him his space. It seems like something not worth fighting over. Ask him about it if you want clarity.

      • Eric Richard Tyler

        Chad, here’s a dilemna of a question. My fiance at the time got a DUI and lost her license for 30 days. I was living in Minnesota owning my own eye clinic. A single eye doctor eye clinic. I did not shut the clinic to drive her around after the dui. She was living in Virginia. We were engaged at the time. Within a week she snuck another guy out from LaCrosse, Wisconsin her home state. I often ask myself if I was not enough of an alpha male or the flip side is others tell me that I couldn’t enable her and simply shut my clinic down. This was the catalyst snowball that caused her to view me as not a good “life partner.” I often battle in my mind was I not a strong enough man or an alpha man for shutting the clinic down for a week and feeling certain financial reprucssions including losing staff that would have walked out from not having a job (because if there is no doctor, there is no patients). Within a week of the DUI she had removed the engagement status but said she was removing it because “she wanted to remain private on her status.” What’s a male to do in a situation like this? I obviously did the wrong thing and now am not engaged. She wanted me to be out there to drive her around after losing her license from the DUI and when I couldn’t she sought help from another guy and began to perceive me as a poor life partner. Was I not an alpha male and should i have dropped everything to go from Minnesota regardless of the consequences or did I do the sensible thing?

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Eric! This may sound harsh what I’m about to say, but I don’t see a dilemma at all.

        People have to be held responsible for their own actions. It was her DUI. For you to shut down your business would hurt the both of you financially. It could hurt your business, you could lose clients, staff etc… I think you did nothing wrong at all. She should have the strength to understand where you’re coming from. She should know your heart is in the right place. The fact that she sought out someone else ain’t right.

        Talk to her. It seems like the communication lines have closed.

        Honestly though, I think you did the right thing, as a man, to protect both your interests AND hers, but taking care of business. This may be a blessing in disguise. A wife should stand by you, not break as soon as some tribulation comes into the fray.

        You drop everything, business suffers.
        Business suffers, you can’t take care of your family like you should.
        You can’t take care of your family, even more stress is piled on to the both of you.

        I don’t see the dilemma man. Good on you for seeing the big picture.

      • Eric Richard Tyler

        We aren’t dating or engaged any more. Although I am trying to patch things up with her. She’s a great woman. I just feel as though the event overwhelmed her and she made some really bad judgments. One month later she lost her district manager position at the bank in the northern Virginia area. Rather than move back home to let me care for her, she by this time was convinced I wasn’t a good life partner. I then spent the next months trying to convince her that I was a great life partner, but the distance between us was not conducive to allowing my domestic skills, or skills that would have been implemented like caring for someone, driving them around, etc. etc. Her heart had been so hurt by facing this by herself without me out there full time that only seven weeks after we were planning our wedding she was contemplating breaking up and finally it did happen in october 2012. Other readers have said an alpha male would blow off these concerns of her. The DUI accident happened April 25th, 2011. By July 4th weekend when she came back to see me in Minnesota she had developed resentment for me. This despite me working three jobs to clean up the debt on the practice to sell it for her and I. I love her very much but I don’t know if she’ll every see the world through the person on the other end who was trying to sell the business to join her in Virginia while concurrently doing his best to emotionally support her during her tribulation. On a side note, I should note that I was out there 16/31 days in May but this wasn’t enough.

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Hey man it’s tough to get a full grasp of the situation just by reading these comments. But she may be lost. It seems like you’re doing all you can do to convince her, but I’m not entirely sure this is something that should need convincing, it should just be.

        Finding the right partner in life is extremely important. It’s not something that can always be forced. Keep growing as a man, as a person, as a business man. That’s as much as you can do. Resentment sometimes grows in a situation like this. I feel for you man, but again, this may be a big blessing in disguise, although it’s hard to see it at the time.

        That being said, I could be way off, I don’t know your situation or her point of view. So keep that in mind. Only you TRULY know what you have to do – and I’m sure that deep down you do know what needs to be done.

      • Mithun

        a person who doesn’t respect himself, doesn’t deserve respect from others. All she cares is her self, which is truly greediness & selfish, don’t let cloud of emotions ruin your life bro, control the emotion’s u have for her, Adapt ,improvise & overcome, nothing is impossible.

      • liz

        I’m a total stranger and don’t know the truth of anything but my reactions to what you’ve written here — this woman has shown her real self to you, believe her. Get her out of your life and thank your angels that you were able to save your life from this toxic person. If even half of what you write is true, you are a great guy and won’t be lonesome for long.

      • Eric Richard Tyler

        Everything I’ve written is true. I was trying to work very very hard for her over the summer to clean up the remaining debt so another eye doctor would purchase the practice. I was doing all of the flying back and forth and trying to pay down the remaining credit card debt on the practice, which I did over the summer but it took three jobs to get it done. I grew tired and fatigued and was told that I didn’t give enough time and attention. The great thing now is that I’m in a position to sell it IF she’ll try to get over the time and attention deprivation last summer. Selling a practice only comes once in a life time. I’ve copied her on these e-mails so she knows how much my heart was true to her and to her family and to the cause of selling my business to support her dream. At any point she can weigh in on this. I only have so many dollars to go around in the day and would still love the opportunity for us in a relationship. I just wish that she didn’t see me as a poor life partner because I couldn’t close the clinic down which is now in the process (finally) one year later and one broker later of receiving competitive bids for it.

      • Mithun

        dude are u nuts, leave her man, she is not woth it !!!!!!

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Agreed.

      • Bob West

        I wonder if Chad is gay?

      • Jennifer

        Eric, it sounds like SHE is a poor life partner for you, and is manipulating you to either get her way selfishly without regard to how it affects you, or she’s creating excuses to end the relationship for some reason. Consider yourself lucky she showed you her true colors before you got married! Who knows, she might have completely changed after you got married and then you would be stuck in a miserable marriage. You’re bending over backwards to make her happy, but what is she doing for you in return?

    • Christian Santiago

      Rosie,

      You’re not with a true Alpha male but rather an insecure Beta. An Alpha male projects his Alpha aura towards others. Much like an honest person believes that others apart from self are also honest, an Alpha sees the world as one with Alpha beings so would never try to control others. Leaders rely on free will, not coercion.

      • Mithun

        well said man !!!!

  • Andrew

    This whole “alpha male” concept works if you are a wolf (designed to be in a pack). But if you are a cougar (solitary predator) it is meaningless…For the cougar an alpha wolf is just a wolf. Period.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      I disagree. If you’re a solitary man, you need these traits even more. You need an even greater internal strength because you can’t draw from others to get strength.

      • Andrew

        I think that a solitary individual needs simply different features. Wolves work in team with hierarchy and a boss. They have excellent stamina and engage in long endurance chases when they hunt buffalos. On the contrary the cougar is a solitary ambush predator. He is fast, silent and extremely precise when he hits a deer. He works alone.
        I think that a person should at first understand what kind of “predator” he is. And after that he should develop the corresponding characteristics: endurance and team-interaction abilities if you are a wolf; ability to hide and quick ambush-actions if you are a cougar.

      • Grim1313

        Not all wolves work in teams and are a part of the hierarchy. There are Nomads and Lone Wolves and even though Nomads may not be a leader of the pack they have the strength inside of them to become the Alpha of ANY pack. Lone Wolves can most definetley be Alphas just because they are alone does not mean that the other wolves won’t flock to him. You can have whatever characteristics of any animal you want; example: I am a Leo so therefore I can say I am the most dominant animal on the face of the earth, a Lion, but even though I possess brute strength and killer instincts I would also be considered prideful and lazy. A lone wolf may not have a pack YET but that does not stop the other wolves from following him and becoming his pack because of his characteristics and Alpha male status. A cougar is only a hunter and does not have a code of ethics such as wolves do and are not as wise and caring either,
        So you can choose to be the Alpha cougar that hunts desperately for its mate and for followers while others such as the Alpha Wolf stand by as they come to him.

  • liz

    The basis for the term “alpha” in the animal world is to denote those individuals in a group which mature faster, reaching puberty and adult size before others. They are usually stronger because they are bigger and more aggressive due to hormonal activity. The qualities that we humans attach to the term, beyond physical maturity, are mostly subjective and open to debate. I wouldn’t even say that “alpha male” and “real man” are interchangeable terms because many so called alpha males wind up in prison, have other sociological problems or just simply aren’t that smart. Real men come in a wide variety of manifestations and I’d take any one of them over all the alpha males in the world.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      What I’ve done is looked at the “real man” as an ideal, or an alpha – the optimal in every sense, rather than a neanderthal beating his chest, but an alpha in a social sense, as well as an intellectual sense. As humans, we can be alpha males in many different ways, we’re not relegated to the physical alpha like they are in the animal kingdom.

    • notyranny

      Sounds like the Feminist movement has worked it’s deceit on your mind.

  • Frank

    Just to play devil’s advocate so I can present you with another perspective.

    I think women want men to have the alpha male characteristics so they can hide behind those men when push comes to shove.. Admit it ladies.It’s all very primitive what you are looking for in a man. Today’s Alpha males should NOT be the most extrovert or the most popular or the strongest.

    We are in on the brink of the next stage in evolution. Do you realize that a million alpha males could be killed by the push of a button? It’s not your “Alpha males” that shape the world anymore. It’s the beta males that are locked up in their basements and their laboratories who are really shaping the world while your so called “alpha males” with their big jaws and good lucks get the credit.

    The only reason you, ladies you, are looking for an Alpha Male is because it’s hardwired into your brain due to evolution.. For survival of you and your children but not him. So you are hardwired to use men. But you have to realize that we are in the middle of a technological revolution. The classic alpha male characteristics might be good to get successful in the short run. The classic Alpha male might be good to get laid.. But in the long run we will stay primitive and die on this planet.

    Face it. Being an Alpha male is not going to change the world. It’s just gonna get you credit you don’t deserve, love you don’t need.. and no real vallue to the progression or evolution of the human race at this point.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      The loudest one in the room is always the weakest…

      Interesting take. We talked about deeper shit here than the mere “social” or “physical” alpha though. I don’t think that a true human alpha CAN be so one dimensional. We’re not animals, our alphas are a tad different, they are alphas in more than just the physical category.

      • Christian Santiago

        The defining characteristic of any Alpha creature whether they be a man, woman, blob, etc. is confidence. Confidence means never having to prove your value. Confidence means that you accept the risks of a context and that you are prepared to lose should things work against you.

      • AlphaMale

        #Truth

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Well said.

      • Brandon Miller

        Sounds almost like Matthew 23:11 where the Lord Jesus said that, “The greatest among you shall be your servant. 12 Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.”

        …or even when He advised his disciples against being the type of crowd-pleasers and arrogant naysayers who act presumptuous in public.

        Consider the Parable of the Guests

        Luke 14: 7 “And He began speaking a parable to the invited guests when He noticed how they had been picking out the places of honor at the table, saying to them, 8 “When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for someone more distinguished than you may have been invited by him, 9 and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this man,’ and then in disgrace you proceed to occupy the last place. 10 But when you are invited, go and recline at the last place, so that when the one who has invited you comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend,move up higher’; then you will have honor in the sight of all who are at the table with you. 11 For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

        12 And He also went on to say to the one who had invited Him, “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. 13 But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

        15 When one of those who were reclining at the table with Him heard this, he said to Him, “Blessed is everyone who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!”

    • Christian Santiago

      I try not to possess sexist or gender biased assumptions. There are Alpha women just as much as there are Alpha men. Women gravitate towards men that they feel will meet their perceived needs the best. Women that are insecure for example are magnetically attracted to men that have true confidence rather than ones that pretend to be confident through arrogance.

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        I think that women, regardless of their confidence levels, are attracted to confident men. And a truly confident man wants a confident woman.

        Biases are not something I want to project, but there are two sexes, and they’re very different. They have different temperaments, strengths, and weaknesses. All we’re doing here is trying to build an army of stronger, more self-reliant, successful men. I think women should champion that, as should other men.

    • Isa

      You know, it’s quite condescending for you to talk about “ladies” like we’re some big, homogenous hive mind.
      I’ve never liked those tall, strong, confident, persistent, suave men who are supposed to make every girl’s knees weak. They just make me suspicious and cautious.

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        I don’t mean to pigeonhole any group, that’s not my intention. Read more stuff on the site and you’ll see how highly I regard women, but that’s just not the focus here. I see more of a need to build stronger, more self-reliant men, and an ability to aid in that mission, than I could with women. I think someone needs to start a site for women, a site like this, it’s just not my mission – for now.

        And there’s a disconnect between the guy you’re describing and the guy described in the article. I’m suspicious of “talkers”. But the article above highlights “doers”, action-takers, and assertive men willing to take charge in a given situation. That sound more like the guy you’re after?

      • Alpha-G x

        Hi

        As an Alpha-Female in the highest respect, my plan is to start a site like this in the very near future. We all have ideas and notions of what or who we should be, but as long as your happy with yourself (and your partner, alpha, beta, whatever) who cares, your site is very informative by the way x

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Let me know when it’s up! Would love to check it out. If you need any help just give me a shout – chad@chadhowsefitness.com

      • notyranny

        Suspicious and cautious…..but interested.

      • starbreaker1

        You seem to have a lot of hang ups. I think a lot of people think that by having hang ups, that somehow they’ll get the “hot guys” or “hot chicks” to feel bad or shame them into conforming into what you want them to be. The reality is – you’re only hurting yourself.

    • From a Woman

      This oozes of beta male mentality. And for the record, women who DO want alpha men (not all women do) want them because it allows us to be in “beta” (which is the complement to alpha, not the opposite — alpha=masculine, beta=feminine). If a man can provide the opportunity for us to express femininity (being receptive, open, happy, vulnerable, trusting, etc), he will win every single time.

  • Fred

    Would help if you checked your spelling first, before you published this article!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks pal! Why not comment on what’s talked about, not spelling.

  • shivendra

    Another big quality of a true alpha; He is always happy, whatever be the situation he is in. Thats what makes him so awe inspiring to others…

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      He can put things in perspective, well said.

  • shivendra

    The alpha male is inspiring! he inspires other men to conquer, to protect his family and his community. To sacrifice for his people to live in peace and harmony!

    • Lorna Brain

      The point is delusioned; take a walk outside for 10 yards and find me a man who doesn’t say the same stuff and like any other human do the opposite…

  • MW

    I suggest reading 2 books to help along with this at a much deeper level:
    No more Mr. Nice Guy by Glover
    and
    The Way of the Superior Man by Deida

    These 2 books offer comprehensive causes of men moving away from their natural manhood as well as ways to solve this complex situation which is the result of a 100 years of boys having less men around them as models of healthy manhood.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      TWotSM by Deida is a fantastic book! I haven’t read no more Mr. Nice Guy, but I’ll check it out for sure.

  • jo

    Well said. I definitely know one. Very nice to me & to others. They certainly carry a confidence!

  • Lorna Brain

    Some people keep lying to themselves; nothing serves a human other than love, pure love. Anything by any order to describe this that, as alpha him or not; you are heading for a confusing collision. All you to do is to be sure when and how to maneuver gracefully when tough times apply. The golden rule nothing gets tougher than a situation! You can only pretend to be tough like a situation therefore rendering an alpha male’s ambition worthless, but rather face a tough situation directly like a HUMAN is supposed. with caution.

  • rey

    I read this blog because im looking to recreate myself
    I learn how to be a man through lifes experience as i go
    Im forced to do this because how can you learn how
    To be a man when there is no one in your life to get the blueprint from

  • Smig Robustus

    No one here is over 35, huh…….easy to tell

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Incorrect.

      • Smig Robustus

        Ya ok……..

  • Bob

    A true alpha male eventually forgets about this stuff and follows the way things are. The more you talk the less you know, the less you talk the more you know. The more you know, more questions you have, the less you know the more you understand. To know is not doing, not doing is not knowing. The less you try to know the wiser you are. Forget everything, embrace your ignorance. Follow the way things are, return to nature. Trust your true nature and you’ll return to harmony. You have the knowledge within. Return to the basics. Don’t climb the tree if you’re looking for fish. If you want everything you’ll end up with nothing, if you want nothing you’ll have abundance. What’s the difference between success and failure? How can you possibly consider yourself an individual when you are one with everything? Can you exist independent from nature? If you became a perfect humanbeing with ease, don’t you have the answers within? What is best an alpha or a beta? Which one is more at ease? What is better, an artificially polluting alpha or a balanced natural beta? … Either way the answer lies within you. You are a perfect blueprint of this universe, the more you try to think things the more confused you’ll get, return to harmony and you’ll become clear minded.

  • Jeff Cordero

    Alfa males steal cars and torch buildings and bathe in the blood of their enemies! Ok perhaps I took it too far.

  • Jocelyn H

    Mr. Chad Howse,
    Even though I am a woman, I really enjoyed your article “25 Characteristics of an Alpha Male”! It was very well written with conciseness, intelligence, and an excellent balance of common sense and new material for me! Numbers 8 and 25 were my favorite. Also, as a side note; I especially enjoyed your defense about Jesus existing. I saw the video you posted and it was wonderful! I have never heard of Dr. Voddie Baucham but I have now thanks to you.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      That’s awesome to hear Jocelyn! Glad you found the site.

  • Morton

    Nice article, but please proofread your writing before you publish it. This article is full of mistakes and detracts from your competence. You made at least half a dozen mistakes my man. Doesn’t your computer have spell check?

  • Max

    Really enjoy and appreciate this!

  • Mike

    Hmm, apparently an Alpha Male doesn’t need to know how to spell…

  • Craig

    26. Because he’s learned (9), an alpha male can spell.

  • frunkle man alpha dude

    yeah, I mean Health?

  • Princeandy

    Is such a great thing to here about Alpha Male. When a friend directed me here i thought it won’t be interesting but now i know is great. My plans now is how to be an Alpha Male and as the matter of fact am heading towards it.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      great to hear! welcome aboard!

  • Jamal

    Awesome article Chad, just discovered your website. I love how there’re some guys complaining about small things like typos – standard weak behaviour of an insecure person.

  • Fitzgod

    Coincidence, I read this today before this article and I write on this sometimes myself. Having a standard or a personal constitution regardless to the world dictates. Many of us see this and we speak/write on it ….. FIGHT CLUB 1999, even it was about getting men back to their manliness none feminized conformity innate self, the blowing up the credit score agencies was to make us equals. And it was written by a homo, even they in on it! LOL

    March 16
    “I
    was just wondering what would the Black community would look like if
    the presence of Asian owned beauty supply shops and grimey eateries, or
    filthy White owned food marts, or poorly maintained Arab owned gas
    stations
    in Black communities drew as much outrage from Black men as some stupid
    Black male celebrity appearing on TV or stage in a skirt/dress. I wish
    we’d define how manly we are by how many of our own children we
    independently educate and employ. What if we measured Black manhood by
    how many White neo-colonial agendas we thwart around the globe? I’m all
    for Black Manhood, and manliness in general, I just want a better
    yardstick for its measurement.

    I’m
    gonna go out on a limb and state that: Not controlling the economy of
    your community is equally, if not more emasculating for Black men than
    wearing a skirt.

    I’ll
    also have to go out further on a limb and state that: Obsessing about
    the fashion choices of celebrities has got to be at least as effeminate,
    if not more, than a man wearing a skirt.

    Note:
    There is absolutely an ongoing campaign to sustain all African people
    in positions of oppression, which the effeminizaiton of Black men (in a
    Western Cultural Context) is one of the major conspiracies. However, I
    think we overlook the infantalization and “adolescentilization” of Black
    men, which is more prominent than the effeminzation.

    The
    Infantlization and “Asolescentilazation” drives much of the opposition
    to effeminzation, and we end up name calling and finger pointing, while
    all other races run off with our collective wealth.

    The
    solution to the conspiracy to effeminize Black males is not for us
    start acting like a bunch of sexist, misogynist, White Frat Boyz, or
    hyper-macho douchebags; we need to secure Black Power, restore African
    culture, and take control of the lands we dwell and resources we depend
    on; that’s how one manifest their Manhood…or Womanhood.

    In
    a Pan-African context, male is not anti-female, it should not be an
    insult to compare a man to a woman, and one’s clothing does not define
    them or their standing, their actions and ideology do. Let’s get back to
    all of that and leave this Gender/Cultural confusion and hostility
    where we found it, in the culture of our oppressors.

    Another
    Note: If you do make it your mission to expose or correct the
    effeminzation of Black men in the Western Context, please do so without
    degrading the feminine, or imposing standards and morality based on
    Puritanism (because that’s where most of us get our morality, even many
    of us AfroCentricks, we still stuck pushing Massa’s Plantation
    Morality). If your are still grounded in Western Morality and use it to
    oppose Western Liberalism, you are trading one from of oppression for
    another, while failing to bring justice or liberation to anyone.”
    — Diallo Kenyatta

  • Belle

    in particular:
    20
    21
    22
    all perfect… my wonderful (but totally imperfect – thank god) partner is unequivocally an alpha male … selfless, genuine, thoughtful, generous, stubborn, strong, humble, persistent, a warrior…
    …but how I am SO sure he’s an Alpha Male?
    …because he is simply and utterly devoid of ‘Alpha Male Syndrome’. He has no need for it.
    I too am strong, thoughtful, generous, genuine – and open, responsive, receptive, trusting and vulnerable… I can be… the other half to his… we make a whole.

  • Dana Demolle

    Can you do a blog about alpha man and the women they choose or love?

  • JRad

    When I was a young boy, I exhibited nearly all these traits. I lost my ‘alpha male in training’ status when I hit my mid-teens and became cocky and full of myself and made a series of poor decisions. I was a little punk who “was cooler than everyone” and “knew more than everybody” and controlled my friends rather than led them. Now I’m a young man; I’m 23, and I haven’t reached this ultimate level of manhood. But i did it all without having a father who was invested in me.
    I work hard everyday to become a man like this. I’ve realized I’ll only be content with my life and myself if I adhere to these guidelines. I hope to keep gaining resolve so I can become the leader I know I was born to be. I am a caring, humble young man who has a lot to learn. My main regret is that I didn’t take the initiative to establish a healthy relationship with my old man. I can still do it, but a strong part of me wants to hear him apologize to me. I know I’ve got to be the bigger man, though, and approach him with an open mind and heart. I can feel it in my heart and sou — my core –l that I’m destined to be a true man. I’m tired of being a boy so it’s time to quit my over-thinking, my complaining, and frankly my bitching, and step up to the plate. I’m shedding my little boy clothes for a man’s proverbial armor. Wish me luck brothers; I refuse to leave this life unfulfilled and not a man who is a leader at heart. Great article, brother.

    • JRad

      By the way, any tips from older guys would be apprecaited. I work on my mind, body, soul and relationships everyday and I’ve found that input from other people is an important tool in self improvement. 23/male/Buffalo,NY

  • Rhiannon

    I’m a female and I’m really digging your site! Keep up the good variety/balance. I’m inspired. Thanks!

  • malachy

    malachybuchi@yahoo.com………..am alpha amd gamma male

  • GFW

    Chad
    Really enjoyed the article. Like to use in my new book on Alpha Mles. Can you contact me about this?
    gfw@teampowerhouse.org

  • http://atomdrawing.com/ caratcake

    Some prominent ideas that I learnt whilst reading this list and some additional dialogue in the comments:

    - Men who happen to be Homosexual either:
    a. Cannot be Alpha
    b. Are not relevant.
    c. Are not men.

    - When referring to women, a lot of people seem to forget to include the word ‘some’ before making statements about their apparent desires, goals and behaviors.

    - If the list were written for women, how would it differ? I find it strange that these ideas should be limited to ‘men’ as apposed to directing them at ‘people’ without gender bias.

  • Ralph

    One thing wrong here my friend. “The alpha male is in peak physical shape”…. Not necessarily. Have met, seen, hung with many many alpha males who are out of shape or not in great shape. This does not matter. Guys like Deniro etc. in your article are examples of this. So is George Clooney, the great Biggie Smalls etc etc etc. Shape/physicality is way down the list.

  • Dan

    Jesus is the alpha male