20 Characteristics of a Real Man
Posted: January 9th, 2011 | Author: Chad Howse | Filed under: Build the Body Women Want | Tags: dos equis guy, men characteristics, real man, real man characteristics, real men characteristics, real men charchteristics, stand up guy, the characteristics of real men, the real man dos equis, traits of a real man, traits of an ideal man, traits of real men | 44 Comments »
this guy’s pretty legit. but here’s my take on what characteristics the ‘ultimate man’ should possess.
Characteristics that a man should possess
First, let me start off by saying that I am in no way the authority of what a real man should be because I think that I possess every single one of these characteristics or values. Each and everyday I learn something new about myself, or even a new way of thinking.
One thing I have definitely learnt over the past year, is that life will humble you. It humbles all of us at one time or another, which is somethin that we either embrace, or we fight. If we resist, and we’re never humbled by ‘these moments’, we’ll never learn.
The first step we must take in becoming the man we are meant to be, is to realize exactly who we are, what our strengths and weaknesses are, and what we can offer the world. I’m not perfect. I’m terribly imperfect, and I’m reminded of it everyday, which allows me plenty of room for growth.
That being said, I’m pretty awesome, and you’re reading this blog, so you’re obviously pretty awesome as well 
So, I’d love to hear what you have to say.
Leave any additions to this article in the comments section by answering this question: what characteristics does the ideal man possess?
20 characteristics of a the ultimate man
1. A man treats women with respect. If you don’t respect women, you’re not a man. Period.
2. A man understands that greater happiness lies in helping others, not helping himself.
3. A man doesn’t stand still while the world passes him by, he continually pushes himself.
4. A man is a leader in at least one aspect of his life, whether this means his family, with his friends or just in general. But he can also follow. The world wouldn’t work if everyone was trying to lead in every aspect of life.
5. You can depend on a man. You can’t depend on a boy.
6. “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself.” ~ Galileo Galilei
A man is proud, often to a fault. He doesn’t “change” but rather evolves. Ladies, don’t try and change your man, but let him evolve into the man he’s meant to be.
7. A man doesn’t need to be able to fight or to protect himself and his family physically. But it helps. He does however need to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep his family safe and happy.
8. A man lives for something; a purpose beyond his own personal gains. This can come with time, and with family. It doesn’t always happen right away.
9. “Many of the greatest accomplishments of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”
A man gets depressed, he gets sad, he thinks about quitting and folding, but he never does. He pushes through adversity.
10. “When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” ~ Louis Nizer
A man has faults. It’s important to understand this.
11. A man can laugh at himself.
12. A man takes pride in how he looks and lives his life. He’s not ashamed by who he is, what he does or how he looks, even if he’s trying to change one of the aforementioned.
If you are, here’s a great resource to help you change that –> Click Here
13. “Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Men learn what is truly important over time. If they’re lucky, they’ll have a sense of it early on.
14. “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” ~ Oscar Wilde
If a man finds someone special, he doesn’t treat her like she’s everyone else.
15. A man has fears, but he isn’t ruled by them.
16. A man learns from his mistakes. Although he might take a few cracks at it.
17. A man does what is necessary. Even if it’s the hardest decision, or the most unpopular one.
18. A man can appreciate the greatness that is ‘The Gladiator’.
19. A man thrives on competition.
20. “For a man to achieve all that is expected of him, he must regard himself greater than he is.” ~ Johann Wolfgang
What characteristics would you find in the ideal man?
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Something to add to number 2. While helping others is important, I believe men also need to occasionally put themselves first. It's similar to the fine line between a "nice guy" and a "doormat". When you do nothing but helping others, you leave yourself vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Respect yourself enough to know if someone else isn't.
Two more minor rules.
A man knows how to speak well, including written words. Learn decent grammar.
A man realizes that the occasional swear word can enhance an argument, but overuse only makes him sound unintelligent.
Brian – well said! Thanks.
I agree. Well said. You seem realize what it takes to be a man. And maybe you read the Art of Manliness from time to time?
Nice post, Chad. It seems that you have #13 down, esp. coming up with a list like this. Reading #9 reminded me of Micky Ward and James J. Braddock, guys who just give it all. Those were the first two guys that popped into my mind.
I like all of these, but I really like #1. My father said that a husband treats his wife how he treated his girlfriends. And he treats his girlfriends the way he treated his mother. A boy cannot become a man without respecting others, particularly women. You hit the nail on the head.
Keep up the good work, Chad.
Thanks Andrew, AoM is a great site. I actually did a series of articles for them.
Tons of great content on that site – must read for any guy.
Andrew – your father knows what he's talking about. That's a great saying to live by, I'm going to save that.
Thanks man.
Another awesome post.
I struggle with #16. I can make some great mistakes but forget to learn from them!
"Men learn what is truly important over time. If they’re lucky, they’ll have a sense of it early on."
I think you have a sense of what is important, Chad, so keep expanding that vision. I thought I knew about what was important as a young man myself, but now that I'm pushing 48, I realize that you miss a lot of little details about those essential parts of life. Keep doing what you're doing, and write things down that don't seem essential now….
And yes, the greatness that is "Gladiator" is necessary man stuff as well.
Chad- #17 definitely stuck out…How true is it that as boys become men we learn that our biggest decisions are often the hardest and sometimes the most unpopular, but if we're truly becoming men we understand this and make the decision anyway because we know whats best. If it were so easy there would be a lot more men and a lot less boys…
Great post.
I agree with Brian about the first point. I think there is something to be said about being healthily selfish, but not being unhealthily unselfish. I had been unhealthily unselfish for too long and I'm now more healthily selfish. I feel that I am happier now, even though I still help others.
If I could add #21 to the list, I would mention something about an authentic version of yourself. Last weekend, I listened to Neil Pasricha, the author of 1000 Awesome Things blog and book, on TED.com. He had an excellent example of a man being authentic to himself. This guy was a huge football player. Know what he did during his downtime? Needlepoint. The audience laughed, but I found myself beaming with a big smile. To me, I admire men who do things that suit them despite how un-macho and un-masculine other people may think those things are.
By the way, here's the link to the lecture that I was talking about: http://www.ted.com/talks/neil_pasricha_the_3_a_s_…
Thanks Joe – I appreciate it!
Thanks man,
I'm still learning this a lot right now. The older we get, the greater effect our decisions have on others as well. It's a constant process that'll never end. Making tough decisions isn't always fun, but they're necessary.
- Chad
Hey Jonathan,
Great point and thanks for the link, I'll check it out for sure.
Looks like it was written by a woman. In all actuality, this just looks like another set of morals or values someone is trying to shove down others' throats.
That's an interesting take on the article. I didn't write it in a way that would please everyone. I'm stating my view, which most people that read the article have found some value in.
There ARE valuable principles in the article that are, however, not intended to be shoved down anyone's throat. If you feel there are other principles that were missed, or – more importantly maybe – principles that shouldn't have made the list I'd love to hear what they are.
- Chad
As a woman that just came across this article, I have to say I love this. My friends and I often discuss the traits that we hope to find in men. Our lists includes many of these things but has never been so detailed or all inclusive. Congrats on having it figured out more than most.
a man understands that there are iiffy regions where men can do iffy things and not set landmarks for concrete definitions of constitutes a man.. think about it
Chad, what a great list! You hit the nail on the head with this.
I'm showing this to my deuchebag husband tonight!
Thanks Ashley!
I agree Matt.
And I don't think you can set rigid guidelines that a man HAS TO have. But each of the characteristics I mentioned are great attributes. You don't HAVE TO have them. But they'd benefit any man to have even one of them.
Thanks for the comment – great thought.
Chad
I was just cruising and came across your site. Glad I did…#1 needs to be more definitive I think, with some examples…Respect can mean a lot of things…like never put a women down for her thoughts/ideas no matter how bad or dumb they may seem, never treat her like she's inferior in any way, never call her names other than her own (or sweetheart). That just shows YOUR stupidity…Another item for your list is a real man never says bad of anyone behind their back…. Other people will think you do the same to them….
Great points – thanks for the comment.
I like the last one especially. Thanks man.
a man is what I want to be. Said from the boy who has a lot of work to do.
Same here. I'm glad I'm not the only boy striving to become a man.
-a real man is honest – about who he is and what he has done in his life
-a real man speaks up – even if it is to say things others dont want to hear
-a real man is focused on progress – not performance – on the process, not the goal
-a real man tries to give love to all, but does not have to respect people just because they are of the opposite gender. -respect is earnt, anything freely given has no value.
-a real man loves his family and therefore wants to protect them from harm. This does not have to involve fighting anyone.
-a real man has a true purpose – one that hopefully contributes to the wellbeing of others.
-a real man thrives not in competition, but in cooperation. Competition is based on winners and losers, placing value in it simply makes losers feel less of themselves and makes winners buy into the temporary delusion that they are better than others.
-a real man doesn't care how he looks in the mirror. Period. He cares only for his health and the health of those around him. The fact that this may result in looking good is immaterial.
Well said!
Beneficial article, I enjoyed it very much. Shante Piersall
Awesome article Chad. I’m a Martial Arts instructor and re-posted your article on our clubs FaceBook pace so that our students would benefit. Deepest Thanks.
Kalvin
Hey thanks for passing the word on Kalvin – I appreciate it man. If there's anything I can do for you let me know.
@VICTORIA; MAYBE YOU'RE A SHITTY WIFE WHO DOESNT KNOW HOW TO RESPECT HER HUSBAND.
Great post chad, I agree with 19 out of 20 points.
Awesome I agree with all of these! My boyfriend of 7 years and I just got in a huge fight because I thought that when we are together and we need to put gas in the car that he should voluntarily pump it out of common decency and he freaked out on me and refused. Telling me that this was just a test of his "manhood" and that he won't give in. We have a 4 year old son who witnessed this argument and chimed swing "dad, just be nice to mom". I feel like my child gets me better than my boyfriend. Was I out of line to expect him to go to the pump for me?? I would love an outside opinion…
I obviously don't know the full story, but from what it sounds like you were in the right. Doesn't make sense to blow up over something so trivial either. Makes more sense that he'd actually want to do that for you.
Maybe he was having a bad day though, you never know. Weird to make a stance on that, something else had to be bothering him.
A real man does not follow the stupid rules like a slave. He lives outside of the world and tell the whole society to kiss his natural ass.
Excuse me, but I tried to email you regarding an issue on your blog but the given email address did not work. Is there an alternate place I could get in touch with you?
Hey Corinna,
Sorry about that. Contact me here: chad@chadhowsefitness.com
I agree with most of this list, but I do sort of have an issue with number 7. I agree that men don't all need to be martial artists or bodybuilders, but being physically fit in order to protect the ones we love should be more common. A man can't say he would do anything he can to protect his family if he never seeks to improve physically. If he really cares, he will prepare himself.
We all have minds and bodys and I believe we should cultivate them to the best of our abilities and situations. A man shouldn't let himself go to waste.
Then separate from society.
Jared, very well said.
You sir have just shown you are a "man" without morals values or principles; without these there is nothing left, you are nothing.
Thank you thank you thank you….
It is a very important point that a man who is willing to do anything to provide and protect will seek to improve himself physically, the determining factor is the motivation of his physical discipline whether it be self serving or for his wife; future wife -if he isn't there yet-; or his family.
Couldn't agree more. Thanks for the comment.
Chad – Great job. I have been expressing these same characteristics to my (3) sons for years. They are so important and valuable. I have just emailed them to my boys as a mental refresher. Keep up the great job. A Dad who cares….
Thanks for this Arthur, means a lot to hear this coming from a Dad.
Glad I can be of some service.