Lion against stormy sky

Yes, You Should Man Up and Grow a Pair.

Sitting on me arse, writing away, I broke one of my own golden rule; I got distracted. I opened my email account to check what was going on in the middle of a workday when I was supposed to be writing, not emailing or Googling or Facebooking. It was with that initial act of weakness, the opening of the email account, that ruined my work day for a time but also led me to learn a new term; the Men‘s Rights Movement.

It was a message I received that was in response to an article written by a guy attacking this whole idea of the Alpha Male or the Real Man naming it, or they, as the cause of some recent atrocities that I won’t give fuel to. My first reaction to this attack was confusion; how someone could blame men for wanting to become better men for the weakness of a niche group is beyond me. How they could see men wanting to become better men and better at being men as misogynistic wreaked of political correctness run amuck. If it were women wanting to be better women, this “movement” would be hailed as progressive, but since its men and, in the eyes of these attackers men already run things, our desire to be better and being who we damn well are has to be at the cost and to the destruction of everyone else.

So what is this “attack”? It seems like a misplaced effort to stop guys from being better at being men, wreaking of political correctness, yet with very good intensions. The attack focused primarily on the dating niche, which I think is incredibly useless and destructive, guys learning how to get and trick women. Never in our history have these “skills” been taught because there should be no need for a strong, confident man to possess any tricks. The key is first becoming strong, good, and confident. Where this guy went off was in including terms that are given to a leader of men or a good man or a man who’s good at being a man.

If you don’t want men to become better men or become better at being men (two very different goals as we’ll discuss), what do you want men to be? More effeminate? More docile? More domesticated and emasculated, further tempering the strong, honorable, courageous warrior that has been tempered from day one of pre school? Is moving men away from being men your goal?

That’s where I stop at addressing both the Men’s Rights Movement, which sounds weird and uncomfortable to say aloud – it sounds weak – or the attack on tribes trying to help men become better, and focus, as we do, on helping men become better by giving you two hot button phrases that all men should live by: Man Up and Grow a Pair.

Let’s not sugar coat the facts with the horror that is political correctness in an effort to make everyone feel the same and equal. People are not created equal. We’re created equal in the eyes of God, but not in the eyes of other men, nor should we be. Some men are stronger than others, others are smarter, tougher, more resilient. Some solve problems better while others become addicted more easily. Some men are good men and other men are good at being men. We come from different cultures, we have different faces, come in different shapes and sizes and colors. We may have different values to some extent, but the values of what it means to be good at being a man transcends every society since the dawn of time. It’s these values that have existed since long before Aristotle set out in his Nicomachean Ethics a code of ethics for men to live by.

Being good at being a man, a question that Jack Donovan eloquently poses and aims to answer in his book, The Way of Men, has always somewhat been the same. Manliness and toughness have always gone hand in hand. As have characteristics like honor and courage and gameness. Manliness, and the values that make up manliness, are rooted in battle, in man’s innate desire to rise above his circumstances, and in his hunger for freedom and distaste for dependency, even though to some degree every man is dependent on another we want to be self-reliant and free.

These are good qualities, things that we shouldn’t shy away from or temper, but fuel and cultivate, praise and develop in our men from adolescents to death. When you hear the terms Man Up and Grow a Pair, it’s these values of manhood that existed from the Samurai culture in Japan to the warrior tribes in Africa, from the Vikings in Scandinavia to the Indians in North America, that you’re being called to live.

Qualities of masculinity have always been valued and praised. It’s these values that built the first truly free societies on a grand scale the world has ever seen, those of our western world. It’s these values that protected tribes, defended them against invaders, and built the infrastructure that still stands in places like Rome and Greece, China and India.

If more men were better at being men, we’d have less able-bodied men on government assistance, we’d have a stronger economy, 3 million of the labor force jobs that are available in America would be filled, we’d have less men leaving their families, aborting their seeds as if it were the latest and greatest form of birth control, and we’d have fewer men taking from women what is only theirs to give, their bodies. In short, our world and our societies would be far better places if we had more men that would man up and grow a pair.

On this site one of the main concerns about the state of men comes from women who are confident enough to who wonder where all the real men have gone? I say they’re confident in asking this question aloud because it’s not a popular question for women to ask from a societal standpoint because it implies that, in part, they want the men that used to beand with the rise of the feminist movement this can be seen as regression. It, however, isn’t a regression but a call to bring back and once again teach the values that made us a great, free society.

As with all well-intended movements or causes there are unintended negative effects. I say “well-intended” and also mean “well-accomplished”. The negative side-effects, of course, range from a desire for fairness with the result being a complete lack of it. Look no further than the military or the fire department where men and women are often subjected to two different tests. If my dear old mother is caught on the top floor of a building I sure as hell want to see someone who passed the harder test climbing up that ladder. Fairness would be the same test, the same opportunities, not a scaling back in difficulty because one sex is perceived of being weaker by those making the laws, walking on egg shells trying harder to not offend than find true fairness. This isn’t progressive, this is pandering, this is “you’re not strong enough so you can take a different test”. It’s sexist to confine women to lesser standards. If you can pass the test that men take you’ve earned your place as one of those strong few who protect and defend and save the rest of us.

As the lines between the masculine and the feminine become intentionally blurred by political correctness and sexism under the guise of progressivism, men will no longer know how to be good at being men. Without a clear definition and an appraisal of our uniqueness, men won’t know how to man up and grow a pair.

1. Women want chivalry, where has it gone?

We live in a world of egg shells. Freedom of speech is a complete fallacy, a myth, where we spend more time trying not to offend anyone with the truth than we do speaking our minds and stating our observations.

Men of our generation were, largely, taught that women and men are identical in what they can and can’t do, should and shouldn’t do. Well-intendedly so? Yes. As women are in the work force studies are showing that they’re still not paid at par for their intellect or skill and that needs to change. You get paid what you earn, or at least you should. But when it comes to more social aspects, women and men have differences, and a generation or two of feminist indoctrination in our largely liberal school system is preventing these differences from even being whispered, let alone praised.

Chivalry was once taught as commonplace by fathers to sons, isn’t being taught any longer. That sucks. Every woman deserves a chivalrous man until she proves herself unworthy, if she proves herself unworthy. Think about why it isn’t taught… As men and women are perceived as the same and our uniqueness not highlighted and praised as they should be, boys are being programmed to treat women as they treat men. No opening doors for your pal or acting chivalrous with the buddy, so why would you act this way with a lady who clearly wants to be treated as an equal in a society where equal means the same?

Again, equality is a myth, just like the freedom of speech. No one is perfectly equal in every way with anyone else and equality has morphed from the goal of true fairness, of true freedom to succeed in a given field no matter your sex, race, whatever, to a mutated definition where equal means “the same” and we need to pander to the perceived lesser to bring them up to the perceived stronger. This is destructive to both sides.

Guys, you’re the protector of this lady you’re dating, act like it. The solution is simple, don’t highlight the negatives in our differences, highlight the positives, because there are positives to everything. Men, you’re stronger, you’ve been the protector for thousands upon thousands of years. Take this responsibility with pride. Don’t ever take advantage of a woman or get bitter when a woman isn’t automatically attracted to you. Treat women with respect, always, in every circumstance. Man up and grow a pair.

2. Men don’t treat women with respect because they learn about how to treat women from porn.

In a world where “nothing is wrong” – unless of course you disagree with the PC crowd, in which case you’re either a racist, a sexist, an uncle Tom, a conservative, or so far right wing that reason can’t fit into your argument even when you’re the only one thinking logically and with reason – porn is being seen as one of those things that “isn’t wrong”, and with the lack of men who stick around for to raise their sons and daughters, it’s tough to teach our sons the values of sex and how to treat women that they’re now learning from porn.

The PC crowd’s stance: “If women enter into that world it’s their freedom to do so,” even if the vast majority of those women end up as drug addicts, prostitutes, or dead from suicide, porn can’t be seen as being wrong, only liberating. “It’s my body and I’ll do what I want with it,” they claim, not initially seeing the long term effects of porn on their bodies or the underlying reasons why they enter into this career. Completely forget about the facts of porn (read this article: Does Porn Belong in a Man’s Life?) and how it leads to an increasingly disturbing and drastic outlook on sex which leads to desires that no self-respecting woman would fulfill, further feeding child-prostitution rings and rape and incest worldwide (where there’s a need, someone will fulfill the desire for the market). Porn and the different kinds of porn and the nature of how porn effects the mind helps to create this desire, funding these niche markets in the real world.

What you have from this education on women and sex from porn is a generation of men who think that choking during sex is natural, even wanted. They think that women want to be pissed on during sex, that they want to be hurt and humiliated. Don’t believe me? Read this article about the effects of porn on kids.

Which begs another question to be asked: Do you actually think that disrespect and violence displayed toward women, which seems to be increasing, is attributed to this call for men to “man up”? Or are you willing to admit that this call to action for men to be men of value and honor is the solution?

Men On the Decline?

To say that manliness and real men and men who are good at being men aren’t on the decline is ignorant, to say that it isn’t a bad thing is foolish.

We see it, again, in the able bodied men in welfare line-ups who have enough time and money to have all the channels on TV but not enough effort or knowhow to take care of themselves. We see it in the lack of men sticking around and becoming fathers. We see it in the mistreatment of woman, and the murder and rape of women. We see it in politics, where few have the courage to stand up for what’s right, and in youth sports where winners and losers and awarded the same. Effort and winning are shoved under the carpet under the distorted view of “fairness” that again is far from fair. Fair is you get rewarded for what you accomplish, not what you think about accomplishing.

We see its greatest negative effects, this loss of good men and men who are good at being men, in the rise of political correctness, where we can’t say what’s true because it may hurt someones feelings, we can’t look at facts because they may be biased or again, hurt feelings. Men who are good at being men do what must be done. They pull their own weight. They pull the weight of others. They defend cities. They innovate, they create, they benefit others besides themselves.

There will always be good men, but will they be courageous men, willing to say the truth, willing to fight for good and justice and willing to fight, period? That’s where the need for men who are good at being men arises. This is where being told to man up comes into play, where growing a pair obtains significance, and where becoming a leader, an alpha male, becomes a call necessary for every man to rise to and heed.

Yes, You Should Man Up & Grow A Pair & Become an Alpha Male

We need to ask more of our men, not less. Manning up and growing a pair is a call to action, a call to courage, a call to be a better man and be better at being a man. Becoming an alpha male is the apex of this call, it’s the best a man can be. An alpha male has and always will be a leader. There can never be anything wrong with being a leader and yet they’ve found a way. Men lead with their balls and their minds.

They lead with their balls in that they lead with courage, with gameness. They lead with their minds in that they lead with intelligence and they see the bigger picture. But they must lead and be taught to lead and not have this guilt thrown in their face when they rise and begin to lead.

Don’t fall into the trap of confining to what this politically correct society expects of you. Don’t walk on egg shells. If you see an area where you can improve, improve. If you see an area where you can help, then help.

So what is this article? A rant? A list of complaints? ‘Tisn’t either. ‘Tis but a call to action to be who you are supposed to be, strong, courageous, independent, self-reliant. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Don’t let the PC crowd tell you otherwise. Don’t let weak men make you feel guilty. Never feel guilty about strength, feel responsible. You were born a lion, you were born a king, act as if both are a birthright and rise to your calling.

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  • Leonardo Werlang

    Your writing’s spirited!
    It stuns me how so many people attack “terms” they don’t like, regardless of wether they really understand what they’re talking about and any sort of context… They try to reinvent the wheel and blame any dynamics they see, even if the problem lies elsewhere, ever throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
    There really must be an understanding of things, universally speaking, like the “code of manhood”, and then an application that is meaningful and relevant to a certain community. Both samurai, maori and viking men recognize each other, even if at their homes, they differ in the details.
    This “method of formulating your opinion and choosing what best suits your needs” goes beyond issues on manhood/womanhood and even helps to choose a better screwdriver.

  • Steven Lance

    Brilliant article!
    Looking forward to the next one!

  • Peter

    Hi chad
    Great article however I see one major flaw
    You often refer to god in your articles and I am not sure of your beliefs
    As men we need to be GOD reliant
    Not self relient . When we rely on ourselves we leave ourselves open to the deception of pride and the frailty and sinfulness of our own selves
    God is not impressed with a mans strength only a man that trusts and fears him

    Peter

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Pray as if it all depends on God, work as if it all depends on you. Be both self reliant and dependent.

      • Mohammed

        Can’t be said any better

  • ChiefSittingBull

    Great Article, Chad! I’ve been following your blog for the past year or so, and the content just keeps getting better and better. Keep up the good work!

    To address another poster’s comment, as men, we need to be SELF-RELIANT because any belief otherwise keeps us handicapped and hopeful for help. Believe in a god if you want, but don’t expect him/her/it to come to your rescue.

  • Bill

    Hi, all. I just was reminded of a guy flick from a few decades ago: Jeremiah Johnson. Amazon.com has it. If you do investigate, read the review which refers to Liver-eatin’ Johnson. I ordered the dvd and will be looking for bio materials — and maybe a genuine Hawken….