How to Get Confident, Be More Manly, & Rule the World

I’ve walked in to job interviews

standing strong, confident, and purposeful. And I’ve walked into job interviews timid. I’ve gone on dates where I was more nervous than a hooker at church. And I’ve gone on dates comfortable, confident, and as unapologetically me as I could possibly be. I’ve had periods in my life where illness hung over me like a dark, storm-filled cloud. I’ve also had periods in my life where no matter what I did or how hard I lived, my health was always a positive constant. I’ve been small, insecure, and unconfident in my actions. And I’ve been purposeful, strong, and passionate about what I’m doing and how I’m living as well. I can split my life into two acts:take over the world Act I: No muscle. Still ambitious and holding on to big dreams, but without the confidence to truly pursue those dreams or be the strong, gritty, courageous guy I knew that I was deep down. Act II: Muscle. Hormonally healthier, which helps with assertiveness, to overall health, and greater quality of life. I am the strong, warrior from within, and from without. Having muscle means so much more than an improved self-image. Sure, when I was skinny I wasn’t enthusiastic about how I looked, which led to diminished confidence and a tendency to act out my diminished confidence with unsure actions, timidly made decisions, and reasonable goal-setting. When I gained muscle I did start to walk a little taller, hold my head a little higher, and try things that I would have been afraid to attempt when I was scrawny. I was a wiry, active, do anything I wanted to type kid, but when I gained muscle, my strong attributes became stronger. It didn’t happen right away, mind you. It took a few years, a few life lessons, and a realization just how powerful muscle and hormones can be, and can mean in a life lived in a Legendary fashion. Experiences in life can make you stronger, or weaker. For the most part, it depends on how you see them, and how you react to them. The gym, training, and working out is no different. The gym can make you weaker. It can make you overly vain and insecure. Some of the most insecure guys on the planet are bodybuilders. Some of the most secure guys on the planet are toothpicks who have a quiet, calm, confidence about who they are and why they’re here. If you view your training the right way and you do the right things, as we’ll talk about in the article, working out and eating right will make you a better, stronger man; no matter who you are and how secure you already may be. Life is the same. Some get crushed by defeat and let it serve as an excuse for them to quit altogether, and instead of continuing to pursue their ambitions, it leads them to live a small life. Or, failure and crushing defeat can spur a man on to greatness. No, it should spur a man on to greatness. Failure shows you what not to do. Sure, We all know that failure teaches us something, but it can do something far greater than teach as a literal lesson, it can help us develop resilience and grit. It can make us into doers, go getters, and men that hustle, not men that quit. You need muscle if you want to be at your best. It matters little who you are, you need it. Here’s how to go about getting it the right way.

Muscle Will Give You Power

Muscle is the enemy of fat. If you have a good amount of lean muscle mass, your body repels fat much easier, and much more efficiently. This isn’t merely because your metabolic rate is higher, but because your hormones are much more efficient and effective. Muscle aids the good hormones and helps quell the bad ones. If you’re building a stronger body, you have to live in a way that improves the good hormones – Testosterone (T) & Human Growth Hormones (HGH) – and lowers the bad ones – Estrogen (E) & Cortisol (C). In doing so you positively effect nearly every other area of your life, either directly, or by correlation. When I split my life into two acts, muscle and no muscle, I wasn’t talking about aesthetics, but strength. The gym is where you push through physical pain, gaining internal strength and resilience in the process. The gym is where you begin to see the value of hard work, dedication, and discipline, as your body grows stronger. It’s where you push your body beyond what it can currently accomplish, your spirit, in turn, is also pushed, often broken, and finally strengthened. The gym is where a man can put himself through physical struggles that mirror the tribulation that life will throw at him. It’s where he builds mental and physical toughness and strength. To be a real man, an optimal alpha, a man of true grit, you need to build strength, you need to forge a strong, muscular body. Your response may be, “Need to”, really? Yes, NEED To. If you’re trying to be at your best, your ideal, you need to be at your best physically, as well as mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Too often the latter characteristics are given precedence, and the body is only held – especially with regards to muscle – by the meatheads, juice-heads, and fitness freaks who cling to their physiques with an obsessive-compulsiveness that ruins what they’ve created in the gym. A strong, muscular body should remove insecurities, give you strength in other areas of your life. If all you do is look in the mirror, fret over what you eat, and worry about what others think, you’ve missed the point. You need to re-think why you’re training, and get back in tune with the man you’re trying to create, not the child you’ve morphed in to. Aside from the internal confidence, you need to build muscle to improve as a man, to build a body that is optimal hormonally. Building muscle increases insulin sensitivity, which helps you use more carbs for fuel, rather than storing them as fat. The less bodyfat you have, the higher your testosterone levels will be. Testosterone is also a hormone that was believed to diminish with age – or because of age. Researchers are now seeing that drops in T are due to the inactivity that usually occurs with aging. Simply by keeping a steady weight training regimen, you’ll increase your testosterone levels. You need muscle to strengthen your bones – as you get older, this becomes much, much more important. You need muscle to be stronger, to stand stronger and more confidently. You need muscle to look better and to feel better about yourself. The benefits of muscle are endless. They’re at the root of strength, health, and confidence. Now we’ll take a look at how you should build muscle. That is, the kind of muscle that will help you grow stronger, more powerful, and into a better man.

How to Build Your Ideal Life

Start With Building Your Ideal Body. It’s tough to show you how to build the ideal in one article. I’ve already dedicated a lot to this topic, but we’ll narrow it down to a few specifics you need to be doing in the gym, and with your diet.

Grow Stronger

A strong man is a useful man. Heaven forbid life brings you into a situation where your strength can save a life (including your own), or lack of strength will fail in the endeavor, you want to be strong. Strength and muscle mass aren’t necessarily the same thing, and they don’t necessarily require the same training techniques or rep ranges (although getting stronger makes it easier for your body to build muscle). Get the goods on page 2… Continue to Page 2 >>>

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  • Matt NZ

    Thanks for putting this all together. You do an amazing job. Keep up the good work!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks Matt!

  • Ossian

    I still disagree with you on the vegetarianism front Chad; I’ve been a vegetarian for years and have more muscle and higher T levels than most my meat-eating friends. I don’t take supplements either, it’s just a matter of balancing out with a variety of protein and mineral sources.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Have you had your T levels tested?
      Have your friends?

      It’s just science. You can’t get the same fat sources from a vegetarian diet that you can from a meat-eating diet. Fats help us produce testosterone. The same with protein, you can’t get the same quality from a vegetarian diet that you can from a meat eating diet.

      I’m not against vegetarians. I’m just giving info as to how to do this optimally.

      How a vegetarian CAN have higher T levels than a meat-eater: Bodyfat %. High bodyfat percentage means low T levels. So if you have low bodyfat, you should, ideally, have higher T levels than your fatter friends.

      • raw

        Sources? I’m with Ossian on this one. I am a vegetarian too and sometime eat vegan for weeks. No problem with T levels at all. That’s a big myth – nothing else… but of course the meat/dairy industry has billions of bucks for marketing trying to tell us something different…
        Same thing with protein. People from the Western culture are obsessed with protein, and really, we eat far too much of it (look at research on how protein over-consumption relates to kidney stones, constipation, and other maladies). There are tons of protein sources for vegetarians. Check out Hemp and/or Chia seeds for example…better quality than your 4 bucks meat form the supermarket. Just saying…

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        1. Have you actually had your T levels tested? If so, what are your levels?

        I’m not attacking vegetarians. And it IS NOT the marketing from meat and dairy companies. The protein from animals, eggs, and dairy is of better quality than vegetables. Simple. More amino acids. Creatine in beef. While there ARE good sources of protein for vegans and vegetarians, they’re not OPTIMAL.

        That’s all I’m saying. It’s not the OPTIMAL way of eating. And protein sources aren’t even my greatest concern, it’s fats.

        The best fats we can be eating primarily come from meat, fish, and eggs. You can get monounsaturated fats from nuts and avocados, but you still need a heavy dose of SATURATED and POLYSATURATED FATS, which come from animal sources. These fats will help you raise your testosterone levels.

        Does this all make sense?
        I’m NOT attacking vegetarians. I AM stating the facts that a vegan or vegetarian diet won’t supply a man with enough of the building blocks of testosterone.

        Your levels could be fine, possibly because you have a low bodyfat %, which correlates to higher T levels. BUT, they could be higher if you added in more saturated and polysaturated fats to your diet.

  • mike

    hi chad thanks for the blog and the invaluable info on being a male and raising t levels. i was wondering if you or any of the readers had a name or brand of skin moisturizer without the bad stuff? getting older and the skin is drying out some especially after showers etc. any help or direction would be appreciated. thanks

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      I haven’t used one in a while, but I think Aveeno has one that’s made with natural ingredients. I use their shaving cream.

      • mike

        hey chad thanks for the quick reply. i checked out aveeno and everyone seems to like it except for the pump. when i checked the ingredients the second one was soy. oh brother. think i will stay away from this one as i try not to associate with soy in any fashion. thanks anyway

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        haha oh gosh. K well let me know if you find one!

      • mike

        been searching and gonna give unrefined virgin coconut oil a shot. i had heard this before but forgot all about it.

  • Dre

    Thanks for your inspiring article, a great Sunday read indeed.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks man!

  • Ryan

    Hey Chad, this is a very unrelated topic, but i was wondering if soy milk is bad for someone who is trying to increase testosterone levels. If so why? Thanks

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Yes, it’s very bad. Soy inhibits testosterone by raising your levels of estrogen. Stay away from Soy.

  • JJ

    Highland Park is the best scotch in the world. Nice pic sir, nice pic.