Lion King of the wild

The 21 Steps to Becoming an Alpha Male

The Alpha, is the ideal, the elite. It’s the beginning, the first, the original. The alpha male – in the context we’ll discuss in this article – isn’t merely a social alpha, or a leader of a social group. He’s the leader of his own life in a very powerful way. He’s the leader of his friends and family, and someone who you can’t avoid respecting, even admiring, for the kind of man he is in every facet of life.

He’s a man of honor, integrity, and strength.

21 Steps You Need to Take to Become an Alpha Male

alpha male

1. Be Real With Yourself.

Self awareness is a quality held by few – very few. There aren’t many who can see their deepest failures and weaknesses, and have the courage to work on them. There are even fewer that have the courage not to cover them up, or to fill the voids in their lives with quick fixes.

Quick fixes are the norm in today’s society, but they can’t exist in the life of an alpha male. He doesn’t fill his loneliness with drugs or porn. He doesn’t fill his insecurities by making fun of others and preying on the perceived weaknesses of others. He’s aware of the voids in his life, the emptiness, the longing for something greater, and he actively attempts to become a better person by making these his strengths.

Be real with yourself. What are your insecurities? Make them known. Say them out loud. That’s the first step in becoming a strong, courageous alpha male.

2. Do Your Thing.

The more I read about great leaders, and by correlation, great alpha males, I realize that they marched to the beat of their own drum. They had their own agenda in life. They had their own principles, passions, and they wouldn’t let others pull them from their mission.

This is not only a defining quality of a great leader, and a great man, but of an alpha male. A true alpha male doesn’t need a crowd to boost his ego. He’s self aware to the point that he knows his weaknesses, his misgivings, and he doesn’t need others to fill voids in his life.

Create your own path in life. Find what you’re passionate about, make sure it benefits others, and don’t let any barrier stand in your way. It’s when w have the internal strength to do our own thing, we can become a leader, and an alpha.

3. Seek to Do That Which You Fear.

I never get into arguments on Facebook, or Youtube, or the blog. To me, it’s just a waste of time. But the other day I did get in an argument with someone who scolded me for encouraging a young guy in a fight he said he had to go through with the following day.

Fact: the only way to defeat a bully is to stand strong, firm, and fight him. Avoiding him, her, it, will lead you to a life of weakness. Sometimes we have to walk into a battle knowing that we’re probably going to get our ass kicked, and take that beating like a man to earn the respect of not only our peers, but ourselves.

If my son is being bullied, I’ll tell him to stand and fight, just like my Old Man told me when I was younger. And guess what, I fought a bully once, and never had to fight anyone bullying me again.

Don’t merely do the things you’re afraid of, get in touch with your soul, and seek out that which you fear, then conquer it head on. For some, that might be fighting a bully, for others, that may mean quitting your job and starting your company. Others might have to travel.

You know what you’re afraid of. An alpha male doesn’t merely wait for an opportunity to face his fear; he understands that it’s the fight, the battle, that strengthens him, and times of calm, of peace, that weaken him.

teddy alpha male

4. Live a Life of a Warrior.

A warrior without a battle is akin to a man without a purpose; without a soul. As men, we need adventure, we need a battle, and I’m convinced that we need to look at our lives as if they’re one big war.

What are we fighting?

There’s a strong part of our hearts – the warrior in us – and a weak part: the coward. The coward wants to take the easy road, the path of least resistance. The warrior wants what our true heart and soul yearns for: action, the object of our ambition, a family, real relationships.

One is evil, one is good. The battle between the two is very real. An alpha male recognizes the battle, and he fights it every minute of every day. One of the reasons why alpha males are so few, is that the vast majority of the men in this world are cowards. They give in to the path of least resistance. They follow the crowds that lead to an empty life.

At every opportunity, live life like a warrior. This means treating life as a war, but also living a life of discipline and courage. Be the shoulder and the soldier for those who need one. Be the Alpha.

5. Have the Courage to Fail Gloriously

The average person lives in fear of failure. It’s one of the most debilitating forces on the planet. It’s what holds back potentially great men from greatness, and it’s what makes an alpha male, an alpha.

Failing at the small, inconsequential things in life is easy. It doesn’t take much courage, and it’s not even worth mentioning. It’s when you follow your heart, your ambition, and work your ass off, that the possibility of failure becomes real, engulfing, and even crushing. This is when a real man rises, fights, forges on, and fights on.

An alpha male has the courage to go against the grain, and to attempt to accomplish what has never been done. Thomas Edison was an alpha male, as was Napoleon, and Teddy Roosevelt. Each of them did more in their years than many could in 100 life times. Don’t attempt small, insignificance, attempt and fail gloriously.

6. Become Self-Reliant.

An alpha male doesn’t have to rely on others to succeed in life. He doesn’t have to rely on others to pay his bills, to make his meals, for emotional support, for strength. His strength is internal, it’s developed. You may not have that kind of strength yet, but you’ll get there, as will I.

Please come to the fundamental understanding that in life no one owes you a single thing. Everything you want in life – be they relationships, money, fame, happiness, self-worth, a place in the world where you feel that you matter – you have to create, cultivate, and forge.

As Mr. Balboa so elloquently stated to his son, “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place… and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it.” It’s only through becoming self reliant that you can ensure that you can take care of yourself and those around you.

Now, being self-reliant can take many on meanings, shapes, and forms. Emerson’s Self Reliance was one that each of us as men, need to possess. In becoming self reliant in the way that we are self reliant physically, to take care of ourselves, where we don’t need someone to build our house, hunt for our food, fix our car, write our report, we can take care of ourselves and truly forge our own path in life.

This is the way of the alpha male. If there’s an area of your life where you need assistance, learn how to assist yourself. I just travelled to Mexico for a week, and completely depended on others knowing English for my survival; never again. Being able to not only survive in a hard world, but thrive in one, is something a modern alpha male must do.

Make a list of areas in which you aren’t self reliant, and get working bit by bit.

7. Build The Body of an Alpha Male.

Growing up, Teddy Roosevelt was a weak and sickly boy, something his father would have nothing of. His dad was a strong, strapping man who took pride in his appearance, and what he could do physically. Having a son that would grow up to be a weak man was something he just wasn’t prepared to accept. So he didn’t.

At a young age Roosevelt Sr. put Teddy on a weight lifting routine to build his body, and taught him how to box. Teddy was a true alpha male, and his physical transformation – along with his embracing of the strenuous life – was a large reason for that.

How to Build the Body of an Alpha Male

john wayne alpha

8. Get in a Fist Fight.

Growing up in a Christian home, I always heard the term “turn the other cheek” in Sunday school, but when I faced my first bully, my Dad told me to stand and fight. He knew that you can’t avoid or back down from a fight unless you first posses the courage and the power to fight.

And so I fought. I beat the bully, and the bully stopped being a bully, and instead became a friend. That’s the way of the warrior. A warrior doesn’t need to fight at every opportunity, actually, he rarely does, but when the time comes where it’s a matter of honor, or of defending another, he has the power to destroy whatever enemy stands in his way.

If you let the bully win as a kid, he’ll win as a teen, and again as an adult, and that bully doesn’t get weaker, he gets more cunning, more evil, and more relentless.

Great men have known battle. They’ve fought. They’ve been beat physically, and have beaten others physically. They know that the world literally does knock you down, and it’s how many times you get back up that really matters. A real man, and an alpha male, has taken his lumps, and given many to boot.

This isn’t metaphorical: You need to get hit in the face to be an alpha male. You need to see what you’re really made of. You need to get your ass handed to you in the ring, get laid out on the football field, get blindsided on the ice. Physical violence isn’t a nice thing, but it’s a part of who we are. It has been a part of who we are for a long, long time.

Only recently have we been able to avoid confrontation and physical violence and still get through life. We find our confrontation in a false reality, and so we create false men (enter the world of video games). When physical violence and even hard tribulation and competition make an appearance in our lives, we’re ill-equipped to deal with them.

When living without honor becomes easier than living with it, we give in to the easy road because we so deathly fear violence, struggle, and competition. That’s not the way of a real man, nor is it the way of an alpha male. Join a sport, put on some gloves and get in the boxing ring, and enter the ring of life.

Too much comfort has weakened our society – it’s killed our masculinity. There is no evolution within our species without physical violence. It makes a wimp into a warrior when he stands and fights.

9. At Some Point, Stop Asking for Help

This is in line with self-reliance, but it comes from a more social and financial angle. An alpha male sometimes needs to go off on his own, to become a better leader. He needs to break free from his parents, to become a man. Human relationships are a large part of our happiness on this planet. They’re what give our lives meaning and purpose. But they can also be debilitating for our development if all we do is rely on others for support – support that can come in many forms.

One of the toughest things for me to do when I was younger, was to move out of my parents house and start a business at the same time. I’m not suggesting that everyone do this, but I am suggesting that if the time is right – even wrong – you make your life just a bit harder on yourself.

Don’t underestimate your internal strength and power.

What often holds us back from becoming real men and alpha males is the lack of faith we have in ourselves. We don’t think we have what it takes to cut it in the real world, or we’re afraid to do the work. If you’re at a point where you don’t feel that you can live without the support of your family, friends, cushy job, then break free of these things that keep you safe.

Read, and read a lot. Find strength internally, from books, and from the power you have within. It’s there. Make life harder on yourself, or you’ll never experience the power you have within.

10. Become a Voracious Reader.

An alpha male strengthens his mind as well as his body and spirit. Remember, we’re not merely talking about a social alpha, or the leader of a pack. An alpha male doesn’t have to be the biggest guy in the world. If you’ve met any bodybuilders before, you’ll know that they’re often the most insecure guys in the room.

They’re not alphas, but they’re huge. The true alpha male is the guy who’s strengthened his mind, which helps him become more self-aware, self-reliant, and confident in a quiet sense.

Try not watching any TV for a week, and instead read. Read anything by Stephen Pressfield, Robin Sharma, or Emerson. Read anything on or about Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, or Napoleon Bonaparte. If there’s one commonality between all great men in history, and all great leaders and alpha males, it’s that they had a lust for books. This is no coincidence. Read Steps 11-21 >>>

email
  • Alec

    This is excellent. Exactly what I needed to see. I’ve been in a rut of being lazy here lately and this is just the kick in the ass I needed. Glad someone has the balls to put stuff like this out there, the world needs it. Cheers!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      We’ve all been there Alec, glad you found the article!

  • Nick Casteel

    I think many people need this article, great work! It is sad how far from the norm this is, hopefully articles like this will help help us all improve.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Appreciate it Nick – spread the word!

  • Vincent

    Been a while since I made a comment on your blog, mostly because I didn’t have a computer for a few months. But just as the previous articles you’ve posted, this one is full of great information again. There is a steady incline in the quality of your posts and writing, and I’m happy that I’m back on the internet to read this kind of quality content.

    Keep it up Chad, great work.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks Vincent, it’s great to have you back.

  • Alley Cat

    Can you make a list of expecations for women because I was raised to be both the woman and the man. It’s super frustrating, exhausting and causes a lot of conflict and confusion for everyone in the room.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      That’s an idea. I’ll probably get a woman to write that one. To be honest, it’s not even something I’ve thought a great deal about, if I have a daughter one day I’m sure it will be though. I’ll think about that post.

      • rd619

        This would be very interesting because you might have to write this from two perspective, the woman warrior and the women with a warrior

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        Twould be indeed. Worth exploring for sure.

      • http://twitter.com/JackieMPearce Jackie Pearce

        Hey Chad! I hope you don’t mind my super long comment up above… Let me know if you ever need a woman to write a guest post on this. :) Thanks for the great article and for creating such an amazing website!

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        No problem, thanks for participation, much appreciated. If you have any ideas fire them over.

    • http://twitter.com/JackieMPearce Jackie Pearce

      Hi Alley Cat!

      I’m very curious about your comment… Why do you feel like it causes conflict? Personally, I love reading Chad’s articles because I find a lot of advice for becoming the best woman I can be in them. I’d say this article sums up a lot you’d need to know: knowing who you are and what you value, educating yourself, having integrity, constantly pursuing growth, working hard, caring about people, and carrying a calm, quiet confidence with you everywhere you go because you’re so secure in who you are. Maybe some slight differences in how to express them or live out these traits, but the underlying message of becoming someone of value is still the same. A lot of women become insecure, just like men, and both sexes have a problem of becoming hyper-aggressive to show their imagined dominance because they lack those internal values.

      So many women’s “advice” articles out there preach about how you aren’t “a woman” until you have kids / a husband / some type of job… and I wish there was a woman’s blog like Chad’s or the Art of Manliness that I could recommend that focused on those internal values instead of those outside factors, but sadly I haven’t found one on that same level yet, and there really needs to be.

      Someone I’d suggest checking out is Isabella Bird. She came from a lot of wealth and privilege, but she left it in 1871 to go explore the world, and was one of the first women in the world to do so (and to also document it). She explored the Rocky Mountains on horseback (in a dress through some of it), and didn’t mind sleeping in the absolute freezing temperatures all in the name of finding adventure. She got married later on in life and then when her husband passed away when she was 60 she took off to visit more countries.

      Anyway, hopefully that helps a little bit! Sorry that was incredibly long-winded… It is quite frustrating how crappy the advice out there is for women.

      Sorry, Chad, for taking over your comment section! Thank you for such a guiding post for all of us!

      • Alley Cat

        Hi Jackie!

        Let me elaborate on my comment. I believe we’re on the same
        page. I’m looking for the female version of advice for alpha males but more
        importantly, how to balance each other, which in my experience is the reason
        why conflict arises. I’m confident, capable and determined. This is the what
        attracts men to me in the first place. This is great because it takes a certain
        type of man to match that energy. My past relationships have been all good
        relationships with good guys. Relationships with substance. The challenge comes with continuing the relationship together. Ultimately it’s communication but it starts to fall apart with the two of us having strong drives towards our own
        purposes that eventually drives us in different directions and we’ll venture off
        on our own.
        I frequently hear that my determination and drive is what attracted
        them to me in the first place, but eventually they have a hard time with the
        fact that I don’t depend on them. Not depend on them in a needy way to validate their insecurities, but in the way that a man needs to feel relied upon
        by a woman. Make sense? I’ll carry my load and try to carry
        theirs as well. I don’t even know that I’m doing it most times. It’s not that I don’t trust them or question their capabilities but it doesn’t even occur to me to lean on them. There needs to be a balance but I just haven’t figured out how or what I need to do to on my end to shift and make that happen.

        Sorry it took me so long for a response. I didn’t even know you responded to my comment.

    • Dave

      Alley Cat,

      If you want to eliminate any confusion, then learn the art of submission. You will become very desirable to real alpha males. Learn the difference between being dominant and domineering. Stay away from Domineering.

  • Hudayfah

    This is quite simply inspired me. Thanks Chad. You’re right there is a dearth of good men and the world is suffering as a result!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks man! That’s so cool to hear.

  • JM

    Sweet and to the poiny. Well said Chad, i like this new outlook. As I have embarked on a mission of greatness, i most definitely can’t see how many guys find it so hard to be a manly man. Cheaters, thieves and cowards is all I see around me everyday. I am uniquely counting on my actions to carry on this endeavour of superiority. Your words reinforce and give me hope for my future and know whoever reads this will not walk away thinking differently. Guys! Lets cut the crap, give up all the bullshit and live strong and wisely. Our sons, nephews, girlfriends, wives, and everyone in our lives are counting on us to step up with courage and honor honor to lead. As i roll up my sleeves Chad, i raise my cup to you as well and all the men out there fighting against mediocrity. Cheers.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      That’s awesome, well said, and thanks – it’s awesome to have you guys on here participating and putting your two cents in. Much appreciated.

  • Gurprataap Singh Chadha

    Aaawesome article chad…let ke know if anyone needs help to get rid of masturbation habit and porn..can help alot..

    Anyways iam really curious to know your highest testosterone levels if uv gotten them checked..this ie a little off topic I know..bt from you’re writing it shows..a 21 yr old guy like me doesnt need STATUS or any tribulus do I…

    Greaat article man

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      No you’re good with just diet man. Get that under wraps and you’re good to go.

      Thanks!

  • http://www.acalltoaction.net/ Trevor Wilson

    All these things you talk about have one thing in common — they’re hard. They require sacrifice, struggle, and pain. And so they build strength, courage, and grit.

    What we’re talking about here is the hard path. It’s the path that true men follow. Real men. Because it’s the struggle that makes us better. Makes us stronger. It’s the hard path that leads us the way.

    Cheers!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Well said – and it’s so difficult to take that path. It reminds me of people bashing fighters, but people who’ve never actually been in the ring. If you have, you respect them for simply walking in there and fighting. Just like anyone who’s taken that hard path has my respect no matter where they are in life right now.

      It’s a difficult, honorable thing to do.

  • Tyler

    Man this is great stuff. It’s a never ending battle my man, and one worth fighting. “Die with nothing, because you gave everything”

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Love it!

  • James

    Great stuff.
    Males are under attack in the West, emasculation is no accident but planned to make you docile and weak. This is needed for socialist central control governments to gain more power over your entire life and reap benefits of making you their tax slave. Tides of change are coming as more men realize they find their soul in hardship of self-sufficiency and not in the ease of luxury or becoming a “safe” controlled corporate cog. Become your own “authority” never bow to others or let them bow down to you….

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse
    • Michael Anthony Flores

      Absolutely true

    • Kraig

      I completely agree with this article! It is so easy to just cost through life dodging every obstacle that comes your way. I have become a victim of that myself here of late. Looking at myself wondering what happened… Having everything right at your fingertips to become an ALPHA, all you have to do is make it happen. Glad to see that someone out there has had it with the socialist society that we are quickly becoming. If it was up to them we would all be spineless minions that won’t fight back. Remember that we wouldn’t have what we have today if our forefathers weren’t ALPHA MALES!
      Thank you Chad for giving the men of this world the Kick in the ASS we need!

  • Neels

    Excellent article and site. Men need to become men, and not wimps. Thanks for the wakeup call.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks!

  • mumbojumbo

    Unfortunately, none of the men in your examples had a “list” to look at. That’s the problem today, you can’t play man by following a list. You have to be a man on your own.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      I agree, but the values of the society that they grew up in aided them in this journey. These values are almost non-existent in a society that takes a stance on nothing, where anything and everything is acceptable, and to say otherwise is to be an outcast. A list like this gives young men an idea, and at least points them in the right direction, the rest is up to them, as you said.

  • http://www.holisticimprovement.com/ Lars King

    While reading material like this gives me hope for the state of men in western culture, it’s also saddening and disheartening how ridiculously far away from these ideals 99% of men are…

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks Lars!

  • Jess

    Wake. Up. Call. I’m sick of being twiggy-fat, chain smoking camels playing video games all day cranking out to porn. My journey starts today. I will make a man out of myself.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      HELL YEAH!
      Well done man. I love it.

    • Abe Marks

      Reddit /r/nofap was the beginning of change in my life. Gaining control over your porn addiction is the first step to realizing you have the power and control to change your life. Quitting porn will not instantly make everything better, but you will feel the energy and the drive to Change and keep improving yourself and becoming a better person one step at a time.

  • Harlie Gresty

    Hi, my names Harlie, I’m 18 and I come from England, UK. I am 5ft8 and skinny as hell, I find that no matter how much I eat, i dont put on weight, and no matter how much I train, no result. I am obviously coming to that point in my life where i need to step up to the plate and be a man. But every time i find the inspiration it vastly disappears. Even when i try suppliments such as Kreatine capsules and protein shakes. Nothing. So how do I get out of this rut? Hopefully this is the LAST time i ask for help, as stated in the above guide. Thanks. Harlie.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      http://www.thepowerhowsechallenge.com – that will get you out of the rut.

      You need to stop guessing about what to eat, when to eat it, and how to train. Follow that plan and it’ll help you turn things around (worked for little old me).

  • Eric

    I had to leave a message for you Chad, this is amazing!
    I myself grew up without a dad to give me advice och challenges in life so naturally I became a weak sad little boy (while being 195 cm..), but I am now a long way in on my journey to becoming a true man. I will definitely share this with some guys who need to grow to their real potential.

    Thanks again
    Eric in Sweden

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      That’s so cool to hear man! Glad I can help you on that journey.
      Be Legendary brother!

  • Mark

    page 2 link not working.:)

  • Alj

    I’m inspired, really needed this! nuff respect bro !

  • Ethan

    Great article man. Every male should read this.

  • http://weightlossafterpregnancytoday.blogspot.in/ Micky Arthur

    How To Become An Alpha Male — tinyurl(.)com/azckdjn

  • Alex

    F*cking brill article. I’ve been reading up on articles for values, but that merely addresses how to direct your decisions to be congruent with your goals and values. It says nothing about HAVING the RIGHT kind of goals and values (and more importantly, morals). I’ve never really had any alpha male role models in my life. I’ve been looking for something like this for ages.. it addresses this feeling I get of guilt from being a spineless piece of sh*t in life and not living like a BOSS with honour and courage, but its something I could never completely wrap my head around and put into words. This did it perfectly mate. Very insightful. Thank you

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Appreciate it man! I had the same frustrations. I’ve read a lot that dances around the issues, that’s why I like to cut to the point and cover all the bases. Glad you found the site.

  • Dave

    I am in a rut with being recently divorced then having a beautiful woman break up with me. I became obsessed… until I read this. This was the perfect motivation to stop letting someone else control my life and to kick ass and take charge of my life. I will become an alpha male. Thanks for the motivation!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Cool man, glad you found the site, especially with this timing. You’re in control bro. Keep moving forward!

      • Drebear

        Much needed kick in the ass. Thanks!

  • Some dude

    Good article. I think you are a fundamentalist Christian though. That’s why you keep hating on porn. Nothing wrong with finding 5 minutes of pleasure a day. Tyler Durden would approve.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      VERY IMPORTANT that you understand why I think porn is bad, and it has nothing to do with removing 5 minutes of pleasure for your life, or my faith, and everything to do with science. The fact it that as you watch more porn, you desire less REAL SEX. REAL SEX with a REAL WOMAN is awesome, and it’s real pleasure. If you continually watch porn you can expect to become dependent on it.

      Real men need real sex. Not porn.

    • Former Porn-Addict

      I think you are a dopamine-addict bitch ass pussy. That’s why you keep defending porn. Nothing right with getting a quick fix and short circuit your whole sex drive and reward system, that actually are the basis of your motivation in everything in life.

      I understand you, ’cause I’ve been there too. But the problem with porn is way more deeper than you think. Sex drive is one of our biggest drives that motivate us to achieve anything in life, it just ain’t something that we have when we are horny.

      And I ain’t religious.

  • Alex

    This is excellent, man. I really needed this. Thank you much!

  • Encompassing

    Mr Chad Howse I definitely admire all of your articles and to be honest
    this is the best I’ve come across so far, i always wanted to be true
    Alpha Male and i guess these points are gonna help me a lot in achieving
    my goal.. but i do have one question… you mentioned about standing
    strong and fighting the bullies instead of avoiding them, i myself is a
    victim to bullying these days, mostly people at my university bullies me a lot and call with me with names maybe
    because I’m quite a short guy and weighs around 50 kilos and I’m the
    type of guy who never socialize much with people and always walks around
    with his own attitude, and i personally think fighting with all those
    bullies is gonna get me into a more problem instead of fighting with
    them with my fists because they have contacts, they have proper gangs,
    they don’t care about their careers so it’s not a problem for them even
    if they shoot me in the leg or harm me in a serious way. I do care about
    my future and my career which is the most important thing for me and i
    know if i stand up and fight with them I’m going to get into a huge
    problem, now tell me what should i do in such a situation ?

  • Encompassing

    Mr Chad Howse I definitely admire all of your articles and to be honest
    this is the best I’ve come across so far, i always wanted to be true
    Alpha Male and i guess these points are gonna help me a lot in achieving
    my goal.. but i do have one question… you mentioned about standing
    strong and fighting the bullies instead of avoiding them, i myself is a
    victim to bullying these days, mostly people at my university bullies me a lot and call with me with names maybe
    because I’m quite a short guy and weighs around 50 kilos and I’m the
    type of guy who never socialize much with people and always walks around
    with his own attitude, and i personally think fighting with all those
    bullies is gonna get me into a more problem instead of fighting with
    them with my fists because they have contacts, they have proper gangs,
    they don’t care about their careers so it’s not a problem for them even
    if they shoot me in the leg or harm me in a serious way. I do care about
    my future and my career which is the most important thing for me and i
    know if i stand up and fight with them I’m going to get into a huge
    problem, now tell me what should i do in such a situation ?

  • Encompassing

    Mr Chad Howse I definitely admire all of your articles and to be honest
    this is the best I’ve come across so far, i always wanted to be true
    Alpha Male and i guess these points are gonna help me a lot in achieving
    my goal.. but i do have one question… you mentioned about standing
    strong and fighting the bullies instead of avoiding them, i myself is a
    victim to bullying these days, mostly people at my university bullies me a lot and call with me with names maybe
    because I’m quite a short guy and weighs around 50 kilos and I’m the
    type of guy who never socialize much with people and always walks around
    with his own attitude, and i personally think fighting with all those
    bullies is gonna get me into a more problem instead of fighting with
    them with my fists because they have contacts, they have proper gangs,
    they don’t care about their careers so it’s not a problem for them even
    if they shoot me in the leg or harm me in a serious way. I do care about
    my future and my career which is the most important thing for me and i
    know if i stand up and fight with them I’m going to get into a huge
    problem, now tell me what should i do in such a situation ?

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Just keep working on yourself man. Sometimes fighting back with your fists isn’t the answer, instead use those idiots as motivation to work harder and create the life for yourself. That doesn’t mean you should get pushed around. I don’t know your situation, but I think you have a good idea of what’s best for you.

      Keep working. If you have to fight, do it. But if you think it’s something you should avoid, do it with pride.

  • George

    Thank you for this inspiring article. It´s inspiring and will for sure help me to become a better person. I´ve read lots of similar articles but yours mentiones some good points I´ve never ever thought about. Best regards,

  • Dmitrij

    Great article. Really includes every aspect of being alpha male. It amazed me how so many things I often thought about and thought of you’ve actually described and analyzed. I shall strive very hard to use the principles outlined in the article in order to become a better person, a real man and consequently an alpha male. Thanks, man.

  • Varun Vasudeva

    The perfect art of manliness. Superb Article.

  • QueChimba

    yEAH..GET IN A FIST FIGHT AND GET PUNCHED IN TE FACE AND DIE OF A BRAIN HEMMORAGE OR WORSE, HAVE THE GUY PULL A KNIFE OR GUN ON YOU AND STABB YOU OR SHOOT YOU..YEAH..GREAT ADVICE..FOR “APHA MALES” WHO WANNA WIN THE DARWIN AWARDS..

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      By that logic, walk across the street and get hit by a car, or take a flight somewhere and die in a plane accident. There are many ways to die, it’s better to die fighting for something than to live for nothing.

      You sound like a guy who’s scared to live. Get in a boxing ring and get your face messed up a little, you won’t get a brain hemorrhage, he won’t pull a knife on you, but you will gain toughness, you will have to fight, and you will have to persist. Or you’ll look like a pussy and live like a pussy for the rest of your life.

  • JOsh

    The guy in the picture has tits….TITS I you…Not pecs.
    Very poor choice of picture.

  • Axel

    Dude, make a frickin book.

  • Guest

    “he understands that it’s the fight, the battle, that strengthens him, and times of calm, of peace, that weaken him.”
    Can you please explain this, especially the last part? I think that in many situations is much harder to stay calm, or to find peace…It is much easier to flame up, act aggresively, especially in emergency situations, where you need to have a clear head. Or maybe I understood the sentence in the wrong way?
    But everything else is great. Thanks for the article!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Forget about the aggressiveness of a literal battle and think of an internal one, one of improvement, the battle you wage everyday to become a better man. If you stop to rest, if you think you’re there, you settle into ease, peace, you weaken your resolve and halt your progress as a man.

  • Alicia Hargraves

    Delightful. I enjoyed reading this so much, as have most people on this forum. A true alpha male is hard to find, but they exist. Ying and yang, the same is true for women. To be alpha is not to be disrespectful or overconsumed with one’s self. All of the views above can be applied to what an alpha female should strive for to improve herself as well (but no fighting for me, thanks) – for herself, for her man, for her community, her family, the world. Perhaps alter it a bit to apply the principles according to her priorities and stage in life, but generally on point. Thank you, Chad, for encouraging men to be proud of their manhood, and for giving women hope! Surely you’ve inspired many men who read your philosophies. My hope is that the actions of those men will inspire ladies to return the favor :)

  • Killer

    Does alpha man cares for one who does not take care of him? or who just take you for granted.

  • http://www.HypnoticWaves.com/ Hypnotic Waves

    Chad your a stand up kind of guy. I am honored to have found your website. Great Information, in my heart I feel we are already friends.

  • Ben

    Just discovered this site. Awesome content! It’s seems hard to find this anywhere else on the web – at least this much in one place. Please keep it flowing!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Glad to hear man. Have a look around. More stuff coming this week.

  • Jim Savage

    I have been an Alpha Male most of my life but I actually didn’t know it then. At age 68, I reached a level of discontent and finally non-acceptance of the life I am living. There is a Bushido spirit within me after years in the martial arts, that says all is possible. Well we shall see as I am ready to take life on full force. My motto for my life is this: ” I am powerful enough to be kind and strong enough to be gentle.” My bucket list is enormous.

  • sumit

    at what age do you cease to be a alpha male , i am 25 now and have been constantly living in fear , but now i am ready to move to the next level to become a pure alpha

  • Manfred Sánchez C.

    Impressive words, to the point. Thank you, it is of great value to compare this article with other out there and see that not everyone has the same urgency to jump on the bandwagon (sort of speak) and believe that is the path to becoming a better man. email me the article (sanlof@live.com) and any other articles related to better improving yourself, I look foward to reading them.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Appreciate it man, just sign up to the newsletter above and you’ll get articles on a regular basis.

  • http://alphanextdoor.com/ Chuck @alphanextdoor.com

    Wow one of the best post I have read on alpha-male!

  • Chris

    Cool article, though I did notice a slight grammatical error.

    “So many people waist this opportunity with lackluster effort.”

    It should read: So many people waste this opportunity with lackluster effort.

    Out of curiosity, has this article been updated recently? I could swear you’ve made a few slight tweaks to it since the last time I read it, about a week ago. Anyways, good job, reliable information. A+++

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Hey man, no it hasn’t been updated. Good eye on that error, I’ll get in there and fix it.

  • Thomas

    Very happy indeed to have come across this article. I can’t count how many times I have been knocked down in life and got back up. So many times I’m almost sheepish. This is where I break free and become a champion once again. It has been too long of a fight. Time to shine my brother!

  • Dustin Martinez

    This is a good article and I WILL become an alpha. I declare it on this day the 19th of October that I will become the person I desire. As I will be become the person that will lead the ones around me. I thank you Chad for helping me realize that I need to diminishing some lingering doubts I may have had,