How to Become An Alpha Male in Modern Society

Where have all the real men gone? It’s a question not asked by one sex alone, but by both. Men want permission; we want someone to say, Yes! It’s okay to be wild, to be strong, to be assertive! It’s okay to be a man! Women want that man. They want strength, kindness and a quiet confidence. Though the man we want to be, and women want to be with, may be becoming more elusive in today’s society, there is still hope; a growing number of men are rising to this challenge. Are you among the few?300 the movie

With the emasculation of today’s society – the bastardization of what is expected of a man, and the pushing down of our masculinity – there are more weak, cowardly men, and there are also more of those who may be strong on the exterior, but only because they’re compensating for an internal weakness. Real, masculine confidence is quiet, it isn’t loud. It isn’t boisterous, deafening, or in your face. It’s real strength. Warrior strength. Strength of the mind, body, and spirit.

A true alpha male has a quiet confidence that allows him to make bold decisions, and take even bolder action in his life. A true alpha male leads by actions and through his words – though they may be few. He has power in his stance, his gate, in his voice, and even in his humility. The real alpha male, the one we must become, is a leader of strong men, he doesn’t need to merely lead the weak. He is a warrior, a fighter, a man. He’s needed not only so we can live our own great lives, but so we can help others do the same. First, though, we must examine the fall before we begin to create the rise.

The Fall: Emasculation of Society

  • How can you have a deep, inner strength, if your strength is the result of covering up weakness?

Men are dying to be set free. We’re dying to be allowed to be men, but haven’t the slightest clue what that entails, or what it means to be one, or how to become one. The Emasculation of Society, of men, may as well be called the Domestication of Men, they have the same meaning, and the same causes. Men are wild at heart, yet we’re conditioned in this society to fear anything wild. We fear fear. We’re afraid of risk, and instead gravitate towards safety and comfort. In our hearts, deep in our souls, every man wants adventure.

When we’re kids we dress up as Cowboys and wage war against Indians. We explore, we seek danger, rarely do we run from it. That is the spirit of a man. We want excitement and adventure, but everything in our world today is telling us that adventure is a bad thing. That safety, instead, is where we should be confined, and where happiness exists – it doesn’t. Safety is where our void grows stronger, our emptiness broadens. We’ve had the masculinity beaten out of us by a society in direct opposition to everything that makes us men.

Men are lions, we’re leaders of the pack, we’re strong, adventurous, we’d fight to the death to protect our families, our pride. We’re wolves. We lead a pack. We aren’t dogs. We’re not meant to be tamed, told to sit, and scolded for giving in to our wild, warrior hearts.

the poem from the grey

This call of our wild heart is being felt in a big way in today’s society as men begin to wake up. The problem with this awakening is the compensation that I mentioned earlier. Men have a deep, gnawing desire to be wild, to be MEN! They don’t, however, know the first thing about being men, so their masculinity is shown in boisterous bravado. They think wild and masculine means loud and obnoxious. They think that being a real man is getting drunk and fighting in the streets, or that real power is raising a hand to a woman, and that being stupid is the way of the real man. That isn’t the way of the alpha, that’s the way of the lost child, the boy, and the coward.

Our bastardized view of what it means to be a man has led to an even weaker generation of lost, cowardly idiots. They’re either weak and emasculated on the exterior, lapdogs to their lady, to their boss, to their friends. They didn’t stand up for themselves as kids, and fail to do so once again as men. Then they fail to teach their sons to be men as well. Or, they’re pumped full of false power. They’ve become physically tough, failed to strengthen their minds, and they look to prove that they’re real men in every way possible.

No matter which side of the fence they’re, we’re on, it’s not their fault, and it’s not our fault, but for fuck’s sake, we need to man up, step up, and create a change or else we’ll never grow up and become real men. We’ll never give our wives, sons, and daughters the men they need in their lives. We’ll never live in the way of the warrior. We’ll live a life of cowardice, of weakness, and a meaningless life of defeat after defeat, or empty victory after empty victory.

The Resurrection of the Alpha

We are the group that will be real men, that will be the true alpha males in our pods, prides, and packs. To do this we need to build strong hearts, warrior hearts. We need to build strong bodies, not trying to fill a void, but to be our best, to be optimal, to be able to care for our own, to be able to be warriors in the battlefield of life. We need to develop our spirit. We need to develop into strong, brave warriors, secure in who we are, no matter who we are, and we need to find our purpose.

How to Be an Alpha Male

Building the Body of An Alpha: Becoming More of a Man

An alpha is strong mentally and physically. His strength gives him confidence, it doesn’t exist to fill an endless void created by his lack of self-awareness and courage. Continue Reading on Page 2 >>>

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  • http://www.facebook.com/jeremy.adkins.503 Jeremy Adkins

    Great message as always, Chad. I found a lot of great information and guidelines in this, and I will bookmark it to refer to often. I have one niggling issue, though. It is small, but I have noticed it in a couple of your recent articles. I, in no way, look at Achilles as a real man. He pouted when his boss took his girl, he wouldn’t fight beside his brothers-in-arms, and he only got off his butt when a person close to him was killed. He knew he was invulnerable (in the original story, not in the movie Troy). He knew he really had nothing to lose. Hector on the other hand knew his brother had made the wrong choice, but stood beside his family. He knew he was going out to die, but he stepped forward nonetheless to defend a brother who, for all intents and purposes, didn’t deserve it. In that story, with all the selfishness and greed that it entails, Hector truly sets himself apart as the one true alpha male.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Great point! Hector is the real man. I just threw Achilles in there because of that great opening line in the movie. I’m going to make that change Jeremy, thanks for that.

  • wh1skey

    Chad, you will make men all right.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks brother.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Iulian-Novac/1371663959 Iulian Novac

    Awesome article, mate! We’re really on the same level.

    I’d suggest cutting the 3-page article and blend all the info into a 1-page article – I think it’s much more comfortable for the reader and it’s easier to read.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks man! Ya the pages thing are done for SEO purposes, giving it a shot, testing it for a few months, we’ll see if I stick with it.

  • Manuel Rios

    Great article Chad, I just recently started following you and your website. Let me say that I am glad I did. It is great to see that there are young men out there like you that get it. Being a man has nothing to do with age. It has to do with a strong mind, body and spirit and you got that brother.
    I look forward to hearing more from you.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks a lot Manuel – it’s great to have you here. And agreed, age isn’t the determinant of manhood, actions are.

  • http://www.facebook.com/melissa.kunde Melissa Kunde

    What a great article. I am a woman and I have been saying this for years! Alas, it seems to have more impact when a man finally steps up and says it like it is.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Thanks Melissa! We NEED women commenting and being a part of this site, brings another perspective and some added validation, much appreciated.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Mitchellrn Ryan Rush St Pierre

    I’ve read a good majority of your articles and rarely post. I couldn’t resist this time, but try saying this when you’re married lol! ” We aren’t dogs. We’re not meant to be tamed, told to sit, and scolded for giving in to our wild, warrior hearts.”

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      haha good point! Thanks for following the site man.

  • http://www.facebook.com/keith.wahl.12 Keith Wahl

    You have a great series going… you need to keep it up. I might add that the relationship to the warrior heart and the state of modern affairs needs to be highlighted. I would add almost anything by Kipling as part of the intellectual inspiration… the man had the warrior’s heart in mind in almost all that he wrote.

    More importantly, they (Kipling’s writings) express that the world around the man and the forces surrounding the man do not matter (be they positive or negative) but it is the man himself and his actions that matter.

    With regard to the single page versus multiple pages and the SEO conundrum, if I might suggest another option; if you have the multiple pages OR the option to view on a single page, someone is always clicking something and you can always raise your SEO.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Great point on Kipling – I’ll incorporate his stuff in the future for sure. I’ll have my team look into that option for SEO as well, seems like a good alternative.

    • shammy

      Talking about Kipling…..

      IF you can keep your head when all about you
      Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
      If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
      But make allowance for their doubting too;
      If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
      Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
      Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
      And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

      If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
      If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
      If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
      And treat those two impostors just the same;
      If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
      Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
      Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
      And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

      If you can make one heap of all your winnings
      And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
      And lose, and start again at your beginnings
      And never breathe a word about your loss;
      If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
      To serve your turn long after they are gone,
      And so hold on when there is nothing in you
      Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

      If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
      Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
      If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
      If all men count with you, but none too much;
      If you can fill the unforgiving minute
      With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
      Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
      And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

      I have to say, this is a wonderful article along with, well the entire collection more or less. Chris, Kudos to you sir.
      P.s I realise I’m like 6 months late but hoping you still about (online that is)

      • shammy

        *Chad – I have no idea where I got Chris from.

      • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

        One of the greatest poems ever. Absolutely love this. Thanks!

  • Ben C.

    Chad, once again you have written another truly awesome article. I have started to listen to ManOWar while reading your articles for a triumphant warrior all round feel.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      That’s wicked! So cool man, thanks.

  • http://twitter.com/legendary_dad Legendary Dad

    Wild at Heart is a great book man. My then fiance gave me this book before we got married. 9 years later it’s still one of my all time “Man Up” books! It’s definitely more on the emotional, reflective side of things but I think that is a good thing. Made me realize even more the impact I will have on my kids whether it be good or bad.

    Been reading your blog for awhile now Chad… love it!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      That’s so cool man. Ya I love that book along with others that are helping me shape into the man I’m becoming. Great book.

  • James

    From the old hippie warrior Carlos Castanada:
    There is no need to make sense out of human affairs because there is none. When you see human folly for what it is, you become a calm strong warrior. Choose the path with heart, bear your cross and burdens. Ask and god will help you fight the dark forces that are stronger than you.

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Enlightening, cool, strong. Love it. Thanks James.

  • DJ

    Absolutely epic… Recommended this site to a bunch of my friends you really know how to inspire

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      Appreciate it brother!

  • ADITYAN

    Dude…how to take sarcasm efficiently from people…. espicially Girls!!!!???

  • ADITYAN

    AWESOME ARTICLE!!!!! There is this one article i wanted to ask that how to respond to sarcastic comments from people espicially girls like a man???

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      How do you mean, man? There’s funny sarcasm and belittling sarcasm. It’s of the belittling kind, don’t waist your time on that person. I get my fair share of sarcasm, especially on youtube, I just ignore it. Not worth my time nor my energy.

  • One grateful woman

    I just came across your site and I want to say, “Thank you!” It is encouraging to be reminded that there are guys out there working to be Real Men. I’ll be sure to remind my friends not to settle for an imitation, since there are still warrior-hearted men in this world!

    • http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/2011/01/20-characteristics-of-a-real-man/ Chad Howse

      That’s great to hear! It’s awesome having a woman’s perspective on here as well, so thanks for joining us.